7 Things - 2016

1. I think continuing with this type of post is the only thing I can commit to for 2016. Let's be real.

2. It's been a sad week. Monday, when I heard that David Bowie had passed away, I spent the day really down. There was just no one like him. Then to here that Alan Rickman died too, sucked. He was my favorite villain in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. That used to be my all time favorite movie, until Lord of the Rings came along. I used to have a huge crush on Kevin Costner too. I don't get it either.

3. This Adele Carpool Karaoke video with James Corden is everything. Last night I was still in a funk and afterwards I was smiling. If you don't like these two then it won't help you. 

4. Finding out that Snoop Dogg is on snapchat was also a plus. 

5.

 

6. I've been cleaning & organizing. I'm a new-year cliche. 

7. I did update The Shop last week and will continue to do so in weeks to come.

7 Things

1. There is this station that recently changed from alternative to old-school hip hop & R&B here in Utah. It's the SHIT! What is crazy (at least to me) is that I've been working on an old school playlist like this in my iTunes so that I could have it on my phone. Tyrone and I have been reminiscing about this music for awhile now, so I wanted to make a list. We've been turning Blackstreet on and having our own car karoke fun. Between the two of us we have a ton of this music. I don't know how long it's been since the switch on this station but I am so glad I found it. Tyrone and I have been creaming our jeans over it. They're playing anything from the 80's, 90's and early 200's -  A Tribe Called Quest, Blackstreet, Aliyah, TLC, Brian Mc-freaking-Knight, and Missy Eliot!

2. I got laid off last week. I'm not quite ready to talk about it on here. I have until October 1st.

3. On the plus side we are going on vacation in October and I can't freaking wait. We were going to take the dogs because I just couldn't bear leaving both of them with someone only because Mortisha is a handful. But, I have done some major begging and ass-kissing to get my mom to watch them and she said she would. Now it will be like a real vacation. Trying to get a hotel and thinking about how much time they would be spending in the car activated the pool of dormant ulcers I have chilling in my stomach.

4. Last night Mortisha started humping Fred. I had no idea girl dogs did this. What the hell for? Is it a dominance thing? She doesn't have a penis, WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO DO THAT? It's gross.

5. She also pooped this morning in the bedroom RIGHT AFTER we brought her in the house from doing the same damn thing outside.

6. Enjoying this.

7. I got an early birthday gift from Tyrone. He replaced my nameplate necklace that broke awhile back. It's an upgraded 100% gold and double thickness. This thing shines like my greasy forehead. I'm glad to finally have my G-status back up.

7 Things

1. My boring snapchat (zenmasterflashb)

2. My "ready for fall" face

3. Pano Fail - I can't stop laughing at this

4. Lately a lot of memories on FB have been popping up from my dear friend Milinda from 2009 :(

 5. My friend Gabe's art show awhile back

6. My addiction to Zao still going strong

this is MY shirt he's wearing (heart eyes forever for Freddy)

7. more food - this place in AF something like CK pan chinese IDK it's so good

even their $7 juices

7 Things

1. Last week we spent two whole nights creating environmentally ethical dubsmash videos and sending them back and forth between me, Tyrone, my brother and his wife. It was one of the most fun times I’ve had. Tyrone got us started on it and began sending them to my brother on our group text. My brother in his ever charming way started sending us videos back, yet he had created his own version of dubsmash called “dillsmash” (his name is Dillen) by making his wife hold up the camera for him while he pushed play on the sounds from his iPad. I was dying. I could not stop laughing. Finally, he figured out it was much easier using the app and we were in for some sweet-ass lyp-syncing the rest of the night. It’s funny how addicting it is when you have people you can send them to. In related news, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized I was calling it dubmash not dubsmash.
 2. Friday night we went to dinner and a movie, I guess some may call that “date night.” I NEVER call it that, probably because I don’t think of it like that when Tyrone and I go out. Maybe because we go out a lot. Anyways, we tried this new place called Zao Café and I fell immediately in major-heart-eyes with it. It’s simple Asian food and they have Vietnamese iced coffee that has taken over my life. We liked it so much we went back the next day for lunch. It was weeks overdue but the movie we saw was Antman and I fell in love with that too but mostly because I’m already in love with Paul Rudd. On our way to dinner I was checking FB and got one of the “memory” reminders and exactly six years ago I was watching I Love You Man and gushing over it online. PAUL RUDD IS IN THAT MOVIE. In 2009 I was, apparently, a very active FB user. It was much more fun back then. Now it’s becoming like tumblr but for your mom.
 

(I hope this video works here; first time trying it out)

3. We made our own version of Pina Coladas Saturday night that consisted of Trader Joes Pineapple juice (the best shit ever), coconut water, ice (obviously), coconut crème, blended and topped with homemade whipped cream. WAIT! I forgot about the rum. It was quite refreshing after a long day of shopping.
 4. Sunday we went for a ride down Provo Canyon Trail. I wore a hat and glasses and still got sunburned on my forehead. I have no idea how that happened. I blame the smokey air we’re having due to the west coast wild fires. My allergies are not happy about any of it. Our air here is so bad you would think we were having our own crazy wild fires but surprisingly we have had a low fire season…and that news tidbit was brought to you by Utah’s newest anchorwoman, Brandy Franklin. Never heard of her.
 5. Our life pretty much still revolves around our puppies and potty breaks even though I went out with my friend Jamie last night. I talked her ear off in the restaurant parking lot while she wiggled around trying not to piss herself.
 6. I am on one today. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m getting sick or what.
 7. I’m so ready for Halloween!!! “This is Halloween, This is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

7 Things

1. Puppy poo is my life now. I was sitting at my desk yesterday at work and pulled out a handful of green poo bags that I had stuffed in my pocket. I should mention they were not full. After Fecal Festival 2015 I'm not sure what I was thinking getting another puppy. It has been rough. I was under the impression she was 8 weeks, but she was only 5 weeks when we picked her up (tiny miscommunication) so we're having to make up for lost litter time and mommy time. She is so feisty and shits and pees wherever the hell she feels like it. I have to thank my SIL for telling us about Natures Miracle carpet cleaner though, it really is a fucking miracle; great for removing the piss stank. 

2. The Book of Mormon musical. It has finally come home to Utah and I can't go - WHAAA! WHAAA! I've listened to the soundtrack when it first came out and fell in love. It's brilliant and I don't mean that because they make fun of LDS beliefs that most people have never heard of, but because it's so well done. In Utah, some people won't talk about it. In fact, it hasn't been on the news much here because getting someone to talk publicly about it would be career suicide. People here don't like it yet they love it. I read some article that said it wasn't doing well here but in fact it is sold-out. This review describes how the crowd reacted after the opening song. I think people here actually love it. Tickets range from $85 to $160. Last time I checked there were only a couple of crappy $85 seats left. I want to actually be able to see it. I can't pay $85 for a shitty seat; I'm too cheap for that. I'm not a Mormon and wasn't raised as such, but that isn't why I want to see this. I am a christian though, and I hear that is makes more fun of religion as a whole and that is really why I want to see it. (If that doens't make sense to you that's OK) I'm all about making fun of religion. Plus, the show has an underlying positive message and is much deeper than some expect. It's just one of those things I think I need to see before I die. I used to say that about Les Miserables but I missed out on that too. I have been listening to this playlist of the songs on YouTube to keep me from crying. ("Turn it Off" is the best!)

3. I just discovered The Black Tapes podcast. It's a docu-drama that is setup like Serial, except that it is fictional. I love listening to the stories while I work. I had Tyrone listening to it at home and he got so bugged when I told him it wasn't real. They do a good job with it even if some of the paranormal stories are a bit ridiculous. 

4. We recently finished True Detective S1. It was really good, as expected.

5. I have piles of inventory that I need to shoot and post to my shop. I think I might need to take vacation time to get that done. I haven't been wanting to spend a lot of nights and weekends on my shop as I have in the past. I still have interest in it, but my interest in living my life in it's current state is winning out and I'm OK with that.

6. Gwen & Gavin splitting up upsets me. I audibly screamed, "NOOOO!!!" when I heard the news. I don't care what that says about me. They were one of those couples from my young adulthood that I remember and loved that they were together. They were the perfect post 90's couple at the time. 

7. I wonder how much poo I'll have to pick up tonight?

7 Things

1. I still need to unpack all of our camping shit.

2. Tonight Say Anything is playing and I want to go but I'm not going because I'm going to play the tired card.

3. A couple of weekends ago I was supposed to get 15K steps for the GCC2015 challenge I signed up for at work; I got 16K. I got to work on Monday to find out the Bionic Woman got 19K. She kicked my ass. I think her bionic leg gives her special powers. We walk together every morning in the parking garage and she is very motivational to me. She NEVER complains about being an amputee and NEVER uses it to get special treatment. We have people in our office who use whatever "medical condition" they don't have to get special treatment but she doesn't do it and she is one of two people who would have any real right to do so.

4. I can't believe July is almost over. School supply ads have begun. I love buying school office supplies. When I was a kid it was the best part of starting school until the day actually arrived and I wanted to stay home.

5. My current most used emojis. I know this is probably lame to post but it always cracks me up. Tyrone and I can have entire conversations using only emojis.

6. Last night Art Bell returned to late night radio and I could not have been more happy. Unfortunately, I fell asleep much too early while listening to it.

7. Yesterday was a great mail day. I went crazy about a week ago and bought some stuff. These 3 were among my favorites. I am going to put them on my cubicle shelf.

7 or 8 Things

bathroom selfie #whynot

1. We're going camping this weekend and standard protocol dictates that I be anxious all week. ALSO!!!!!! Aunt Fucking Flow is scheduled to make an appearance as well. She's a bloody cunt.

2. Tuesday night we finally finished cleaning our carpets from Fecal Festival 2015 starring Frederick Biggie Franklin with diarrhea on the backup mic. He decided that he not only defecate in the living room in four different spots but also in the spare room and the hallway. It was liquid tar that stained our souls, oh, and the cheap apartment carpet we have. We were able to borrow my moms carpet cleaner and get most of it out. That was a process in and of itself but way easier than any carpet cleaning experience I've had in the past. He was finally allowed out of the bathroom yesterday and no incidents occurred. This dog just cannot eat any human food.

3.  I'm tired. WHAT'S NEW??!!

4. I had the best idea the other day and it occurred to me while I was thinking about camping. We don't have a truck or all-terrain vehicle,just two cars. They are great cars but they can't go where we go camping. I was thinking, wouldn't it be great if they  had transformer cars that could turn into mini monster-style trucks. For instance, my car is a hatchback and would be perfect for it, so when I was ready to go off-road it would rise up and big tires would come out from under it. You could switch back-and-forth whenever you needed it to. Tyrone immediately laughed and began explaining to me in his engineer (nerdy) way how that would never work. Even after his explanation I still don't see why it wouldn't work and WHY has it not been invented yet?

5. I'm ready for a real vacation. I've been listening to Major Lazer for the last few hours on soundcloud and it's making me want to get away.

6. Sometimes he's sweet and holds on to me.

7. Me and this guy. He's so sweet when he's getting his way (just like his dad). I'm wearing a "heart" made by his brother.

8. I scratched my car AGAIN!! I ran over a curb and got it pretty badly. MY BRAIN IS NO LONGER FUNCTIONING PROPERLY! This one will not be able to be waxed away.

7 Things

1. I spent 3.5 hours on Saturday waxing my car because I have such a nice car that it needs to be hand-waxed every weekend. HA!! It's just a Mazda for crying out loud. The reason I did this is because at work last week I scratched it in the parking garage. In the lot there are these foam things attached to some of the tight corners so that you don't completely demolish your car on the concrete when you're sexting and driving. I was not sexting but I wish I had been so I had a good reason as to why I hit the foam corner. I've been driving in this lot for 8 fucking years and have never hit anything until now. I wasn't sexting or adjusting my bra strap or even eating anything worth pulling my attention away from the road. I just took my good luck for granted and swiped the passenger side of the back half of my car against the yellow painted foam which is not that soft but I guess it's better than hitting concrete. It left a good 2 x 2 row of thin scratches down it. It was enough to send me into crazy town. The day before I waxed it I was with Ty in Auto Zone picking up the wax and he went on about how "We'll" go about getting this done and I told him I was doing it on Friday on my day off by myself while he's gone wake boarding. He looked at me puzzled and a little insulting and said "You're going to wax the your whole car by yourself?" At the time I thought how rude of him to assume I couldn't do this. I went on to tell him how I have done this before and that I had no issue doing it by myself. I didn't. That is until 2 hours into trying to buff off the wax my arms decided that I was a crazy bitch and that they had enough. I begrudgingly admitted to him later that I had bitten off more than I could chew. The wax I used in the past wasn't heavy duty like this one had been. I can see why people charge $200 to do it. It sucks!! 

I'm exhausted now, but the entire reason I brought this story up was because it rained on Saturday on my way to my brother's house. I was certain I single-handedly caused it to rain over the weekend. On Monday at work I looked up the weather and it said it wasn't supposed to rain until Wednesday so I rain really quickly to my favorite car wash downtown just get the water spots off. I didn't want my entire wax job to be all for nothing, so I ran over on my lunch break. By the time I got off work it was down pouring so badly I could have spit fire out my ass all of the way home. I was so pissed off. 

Good news though the scratches are about 75% gone now.

2. I waxed my car at my parent's house because I could do it under their tree in the shade and use their hose. My mom told he some more information about my friend's death. She hesitated telling me about it but I thought I was good and had moved on a bit so I told her not to leave anything out. I just started bawling when she told me. It just hit me so hard again. It's funny when you think you're okay about something then you just lose it when you least expect it. The most details I learn the more  I realize how horrific it was for her. 

3. I drank too much water today at work because I'm trying to flush out the shit I ate over the holiday weekend. My kidneys hate me. I've already had to pee five times before 10 am so I'm sitting here trying to hold it in because I don't want to be The Girl With the Skull Tattoo Who Pees Too Much. Plus it smells and I don't want to add Girl With The Stinky Pee to my fictional reputation.

#TMI

3. Tyrone has been hijacking my snapchat account lately. It's a good thing Shelby and Kendahl are the only ones that follow me on there. He is the King of The Unflattering Angle. I even changed my password on my phone due to this but he is so quick to snatch my phone when I'm not looking and forget to lock it. 

4. My brother and I text each other the weirdest shit sometimes.

5. I'm so glad I don't have to run everything by Tyrone first before I do anything at all. I'm glad we don't have that type of a relationship. I'm so thankful I'm not scared of him and that he doesn't treat me like a child. 

6. You know that one person at work with the annoying voice? Yeah that.

7. I just found out that Cindy Mancini died. I want to cry! She was the coolest ever! Her in that white leather fringe bra thingy? That is one of my favorite all time teenage dream movies. Damn! It looks like she had a rough life. Too bad.

7 Things

1. One of my dreams is to drive to LA and pick up this ring. I almost bought it off of the London site but got so confused about the ring sizes. 

2. Last night we were on our way to cancel Ty's Planet Fitness membership & go to Tanner Park to get the rest of my steps in for the day when we passed a house with a ton of cop cars & news trucks in front of it. In perfect white trash fashion we stopped and got out of the car to check it out. I should clarify that Tyrone got out first because I get anxious about things like this and stayed in the car until he coaxed me out. He has no fear walking right up to everyone else gawking at the scene and asking what happened. My parents always did this growing up. If we heard a bunch of sirens headed south down 300 west we would jump in the truck and follow them. I would go, naturally, but I would never get out of the truck. Sadly, a 17 year old girl was ran over by her boyfriend after they were arguing. The reason why everyone was hanging around is because she was still under the SUV while they investigated the scene. The cops had some weak portable wall up that you could see right over the top of. I'm glad you actually couldn't see her though. It was dusk and that is the worst time of night for my eyesight. I'm glad I couldn't make her out.

3. We finally ended up at the park around 9:45pm. This park is really nice because you can leave your dog off of the leash and the trail is well maintained. It has wire mesh around the fence so your dog won't run off up the hills. The trail leads into Parleys Canyon. Well, there are a few different trails in this area. We usually take the one that leads to where the river ends up under the highway. People have their dogs down there running in the water and some people tube out of the tunnel under the highway but I have no clue where that even starts. I would be a little scared to do it because I'm a big chicken nearing my geriatric years. Last night it was way too dark to walk all of the way down to this spot. There are no lights that far down so it's like hiking in the canyon at night and your flashlight goes out. It's worse than just dark it's outer-darkness get-me-the-fuck out of here dark. We only went down as far as our eyes and wits would let us. I got my 10k steps in and that's all that matters.

4. About a year ago I spilled milk in my trunk and half-assed cleaning it up. The floor in my trunk is that felt cardboard type stuff so it pretty much soaked it up like a Zesta cracker. Well, the other day the water jug I have for Fred in my trunk started leaking and woke the dead milk up out of it's grave. Every time I would get in my car I thought it smelled like mildew and couldn't figure out what was going on. I had not cleaned my car in about a month so I thought maybe there was rotten food under my seat so I finally took it to the the car wash. After I pulled out all of the garbage and found no trace of rotten anything, I got in the trunk to pull out my armor-all wipes and the smell that came from it was over-powering. It finally dawned on me what it was (the water soaked floor was a pretty big sign). 

Moral of the story kids: Clean up ALL of your spilled milk not just some of it. It will come back to haunt you.

5. Now that Game of Thrones is over you shouldn't hear me cry about it anymore (after today). I know I'm one of the annoying book readers that has been crying about some of the changes and you can smack some sense into me if you ever see me in REAL LIFE. I dare you! Ha! There were a few characters scenes that ended almost just like the book yet others were VERY different. 

**SPOILER ALERT - stop now if you haven't seen the last episode yet.

If you do decide to keep reading this may also be the last time you read this so-called blog**

And because I can't help myself, this is where I go off the deep end. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'll just start with the most surprise death, Jon Snow. It's not a surprise to book readers but how it went down was. Him getting stabbed by his black brothers is how it happened in the book BUT the whole bit about his uncle Benjen was total crap and it didn't happen like that. Them using his uncle to coax him out of his room is so dumb and was poorly executed. The fact that there were brothers with Jon in the Battle at Hardhome to witness the white walkers and the craziness that happened there should have only given his case of letting the Wildlings into Castle Black more legs to stand on. That alone does not make him a traitor that's just dumb. In the books he gets a letter from Ramsey Bolton saying he has killed all of these people (I'll just say that much) and pretty much antagonizes Jon in the letter so that he'll come and fight him in Winterfell. Ramsey also thinks that Jon has his sister (Fake-Arya not Sansa) and threatens to cut out his heart or something disturbing like that unless he gives her back (I'm not doing well summarizing this). It's actually just a ploy. Jon honestly believes that Arya is at Winterfell and has married Ramsey because Melisandre (red witch) told him she saw her. He doesn't know it's not really Arya. So, Jon asks if any brothers are willing to go with him and he tells them that he knows doing this will be going against his oath. The men that volunteer to go with him appear to be on his side but then end up stabbing him. That makes more sense to the whole traitor accusation. During this day Ghost is acting totally weird as if he sensed something bad was going to happen and when Jon gets stabbed, just as he falls to the ground, he cries out for Ghost. I'm so bothered that Ghost wasn't in the episode at all. Jon dying just doesn't make any sense to the entire Game of Thrones story. In the show it may make sense but there is so much focus on Jon's story and who his mother really was that I don't think he is really dead. He's too important to the overall story. Why put so much focus on him killing that White Walker with Longclaw just to kill him off? I am a believer in the popular fan theory R+L=J and Jon being able to warg (which I feel isn't a theory and is totally true). In the books the Stark kids are so closely tied with their wolves. Jon can taste blood in his mouth when Ghost has hunted and killed something. Plus, there is a lot of focus in the media right now trying make us believe that Kit Harrington isn't coming back to the show when he has said before that he is signed on through S7.

I AM IN DENIAL!!! I am still in denial that McDreamy is dead too, so what do I know?

Myrcella dying in front of Jamie and him practically confessing to her that he's her dad does not happen at all. I felt for Jamie in that moment because he has never touched or bonded with any of his incest spawn, so to have her hug him and accept him was almost touching. Almost touching until the lethal nose bleed.  Now what? Trystaine is still on the boat so are they going to just kill him now to get revenge on the Martells? And then that will be the end of that story and what was the point of having Jamie and Bron even go to Dorne?? They didn't even go there in the books. So weird!

Cersei's story was pretty much on the nose even up unitl "Sir Zombie Mountain" picks her up. I loved seeing her get "shamed". I heard some people say that they felt bad for her and all I have to say is she is even more evil in the books and deserves everything that is coming to her. 

Stannis dying by the hands of Brienne was nice to watch but is pretty far off from the books. There is even a chapter out from The Winds of Winter (book six yet to be released) that was released by the author. It is a "Theon" chapter where Stannis has him locked up and his interrogating him. Look it up, it's a good one. So, Stannis is not dead and you can guess if there is a "Theon" chapter that he probably survives that jump him and Sansa make. Probably. They have changed so much, who the fuck knows? 

This huge Bolton army that showed up is far from reality in the books. The truth is that their central authorities are in total chaos and are falling apart. And to throw more shit in here, Mance is not actually dead. Jon sent him and his spear wives to Winterfell to cause havoc there. The Boltons have no idea what is going on and why so many men are being slain. Oh and they haven't even fought Stannis' army yet. ALSO the Greyjoys and a bunch of other people (Iron Bank, sellswords, etc.) are there on Stannis' side. You know Theon's sister? Yeah, she is there too. SO MUCH CONFUSION!!!

I think they are doing well with Dany's story except for the part where Drogon is acting like a sick puppy pouting to his mom. Spears are not going to phase that creature. I do wish they would make her look more like she is described in the books where her hair is all burned off from his fire breathing and is practically running around naked. Oh well. In the book, when she is surrounded by the heard of Drothraki, Drogon appears and is all like "What's up bitches?" And that's where that story ends.

Arya's story line is near perfection.

I do love seeing Tyrion in Mereen but Varys being there with him at the end is disappointing because in the epilogue of the last book he goes back to Kings Landing and kills Maester Pycelle and Kevan Lannister. It's the best thing ever.

OK I feel better now. I think I just needed to get that all out here because every time I start in on it at home Tyrone gives me a look like he's rethinking his marriage vows. 

6. Since GoT has been over I've been binge watching Veep. It is so fucking funny. Their liberal use of the fuck word makes me so happy. I think my adoration mostly has to do with the insults they liberally throw at their co-workers. 

7. I need this shirt. I've been on a biweekly schedule of ordering a new tee shirt every payday. I need to stop.

7 Things

1. I hate it when I'm scrolling through blogs and the picture get blurred out because of that "pin to Pinterest" BS. I've seen other options, they exist - I wish everyone would convert to another way. I can't stand it when I'm looking at a picture and it blurrs out. It's rather frustrating and happens on everyone's blogs out there. I have to scroll through your blog with my cursor and having to move it out of the way is inconvenient for me. (Feel free to ignore this item. I'm PMS-ing hardcore)

2.  I do not get the hype with this girl. 

3. I can now say that I'm completely finished reading the GoT books. I had read most of the 5th book when season 5 of the show started (and already knew how it ended). It took up so much of my extra time that I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now. Maybe I should actually work on my shop and put some substantial effort into it? Speaking of GoT that episode 9 was pretty cool. Finally got to see, well this certain thing that book readers were dying to see happen on the screen. I won't be an ass and ruin it if you haven't seen it yet. To follow-up with the last complaint I had I have to say they have redeemed themselves. 

4. I signed up for #GCC2015 (Global Corporate Challenge) at work which means I committed to taking 10K steps/day. I don't know why I did that. It's day 14 and I'm so tired. Only 86 more days to go. FML.

5. I've been thinking about Halloween a lot lately.

6. The other day I sent my brother and Tyrone a video of me pretend pooping. My brother threatened to post it on FB but I had already snapchatted that bitch. I won't tell you how Tyrone responded. It was in video form and that's all I will say.

7. This weekend is our 6 year wedding anniversary. We're going to spend a night in Heber and soak in the geo-thermal crater. I can't wait!

PS - anyone watch iZombie? I love it so much.

7 Things

1. Memorial weekend was a bust but I'm not really complaining because I was in one of those "everyone better stay away from me" kind of moods. 

2. My dad got a piece of metal the size of my pinkie nail jammed into his eye on Thursday. It wedged itself right between the eyeball and the muscle which required some special specialist to get it out. A step above a regular specialist apparently. I don't like seeing my tough dad in pain. 

3. Saturday and Sunday I pretty just did laundry the entire time. I thought I had cleaned, dried, folded and PUT AWAY every single item of clothing or towel we owned until I walked passed the laundry bin in my closet and noticed it was full. FULL! I almost burned it all in the tub. 

4. I'm so confused with this season of GoT. It has veered so far off of the books that I am having a hard time understanding what the hell they are doing. I understand you can't follow the books exactly because the show would seriously be 5 hours long (that actually would not bother me at all) but it's way off right now. In the past they have done such a great job until now. I was kind of excited to see them take a different approach with some characters because the 4th and 5th books are mind boggling frustrating. There is so much information in them it is borderline unnecessary, plus even when you finally finish the 5th book you are still left hanging with all of the main characters. It's SO annoying! At first I liked what they were doing with Sansa but now I hate it although I do love Ramsey Bolton. He is the best villain. Episode 6 was the dumbest episode I have seen from the show this far. That fight seen in Dorne with Jamie, Bran and the Sand Snakes was comical. I almost wish they wouldn't have gone to Dorne at all because it has made that story-line muddy. I think they got a little sloppy with the writing in the last few episodes. Last night's episode was a bit better but I am still so lost with so many of the story-lines. Anyway, that was my nerdy GoT rant for the week. 

5. Fred has gained some weight since we turned him into a eunuch. Everyone keeps commenting on it lately, but since I see him every day I haven't noticed that much. I hope he doesn't get a complex over it. Besides that, we have been putting coconut oil in his dog food on recommendation of a friend and it has made his coat much softer. 

6. Tonight we are going to see Falling In Reverse at The Murray Theater and I'm pretty fucking excited about it. Saturday we were supposed to see Of Mice & Men but it was cancelled because the lead singer strained a vocal cord. I was pretty bummed Saturday but I have since pulled my head out. When they make it up to us it better be good and it better not be at Salt Air.

7. This list was meant to be sent last week. Obviously.

7 Things

1. I cried so much for two weeks straight (still random crying occurs) that I got the biggest sore on top of my nose from rubbing it with tissue. It was the worst. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a scar from it because it is still red. Basically I look like Rudolph. 

2. Apparently I'm in the mood to blog today.

3. I'm so thankful to everyone that reached out during the tough time I've had of losing my friend. It means the world to me. 

4. We've been to a few shows lately and I'm hoping to write about them soon. 

5. Last week we took Tyrone's colleague from Germany to a Real Salt Lake soccer game. It was so much fun but it rained so much we were frozen and soaked most of the night. It was pretty cool though during the national anthem the lightening struck extremely close to the stadium and everyone cheered. I thought it was some effect they put on but it was totally real and life-threatening. They had us all move to cover for an hour while mother nature calmed the fuck down. It was delayed about an hour but it was still fun. I love soccer but we never go because Tyrone hates it. It took 8 years and a German to get him to go to a game. We're not super sports people but soccer and basketball are something I enjoy from time-to-time. 

6. Last week we also spent most of the day Friday in the rain at the Big Ass Show but this time we came prepared with ponchos. The puny gods (Thor! reference) were smiling upon us because it didn't rain much during the sets I actually went for (New Politics and Panic at the Disco). Both of which were really good and always have super fun sets. It rained like crazy during Rise Against and 311. Both of which I didn't care for to be honest. I have seen 311 probably 5,66878457 times (that's not a real number but it feels like that many) so we stayed for a few of their songs then left because the wind really picked up at that point and it was getting really cold. I was excited to see Rise Against because I had never seen them live before. People in Utah LOVE them and I only really knew them from the radio. I thought it would be a fun punk set and watched for the pit to get crazy but it didn't seem to get too crazy in there and they didn't' really light a fire under my pants. A couple of other bands played but they aren't worth mentioning. I'm such a brat about this stuff. It was a good time though don't get me wrong.

7. All I can think about is how messy my house is right now and how I wish I were at home instead of at work worrying about it. 

7 Things (otherwise known as my genius husband)

1. Hola, friends. A consistent posting schedule is not in the cards for me. I am accepting my fate. As much as I try, life just gets in the way and it gets put on the back burner. I have a list and have been taking steps in preparations to post some shit, but it's just going slower than I want it to. There has been a lot of stuff going on in our lives.

2. Tyrone is graduating on Good Friday. I can't believe it's over already. These two years have flown by. I am beyond proud of him too. He got pretty much straight A's and had perfect attendance too. I am married a nerd and I didn't even know until he went back to school. He's a fucking math genius. 

3. Tyrone also got a new job that he started the first of March. He's so excited about it (we both are) because it's an electrical engineering job which is what he went to school for. It's with an environmental company based out of Germany. He's been training in Boise, Idaho the past few weeks but he's been able to come home on the weekends. In a few weeks he is going to go to Germany for training too. He's so lucky. It has been weird to adjust to him being gone, but it's almost the same as before when he worked retail hours and went to school at night. I've had to remember to take Fred out in the mornings and feed and water him - which I've remembered to do half of the time. He's still alive. Win, win.

4. St. Patrick's Day was a bust. First having Tyrone not home totally blew chunks because we like to celebrate this holiday. I woke in the morning and was planning on wearing my Dropkick Murphys tee shirt that I wear every year and it was too fucking small. [insert UGLY KIM CRYING FACE!!!]. I also started my period yesterday too after I already had one about 12 days ago. Part idiocy on my part mixed with my stellar reputation in procrastination the abscess tooth I had decided to give birth to a puss baby and make a giant hole in my gums. I had to run to the dentist office during work. Luckily they are across the street from my office. I was in so much pain and it literally tripled in size in just about 3 hours. They were able to fit me in and pop the damn thing with out any numbing juice. (fucking great) When I sat up in the chair after they were done the girl asked me if I was okay which made me start bawling. They couldn't fix the tooth, of course, so I have to go to a specialist to have it fixed tomorrow morning. This started the rest of the night with me randomly crying until my mom came over to save me. My dad too. Like, really? What in Mary Katherine Gallagher's name was wrong with me? I still don't know for sure. Today I feel like I have the world's worst hangover.

5. I recently had my passport photo taken because we thought maybe we would try to swing me going to Germany with him, but after much thought I don't think it's good timing. Anyways, the photo was the worst. I just keep looking at it asking myself, "when did I age that much? Why can't I use an instagram photo?" They're square too.

6. I've gone to bed around 2am more than a couple of nights lately and that just doesn't jive with my body. My brain has stepped-out on me.

7. I saw a man in a Volvo SUV wearing a cream turtleneck which reminded me of Chris Sarandon's character in Fright Night (1985). He plays the best douche. I'm positive the guy in the Volvo was a major douche too. (sidenote: When searching for a picture of Chris Sarandon, I found this blog post review of Fright Night where they talk about him. it's was funny to find.)

7 Things

1. One of the last things Tyrone got from working at LHM Honda was a pair of row 14 Jazz tickets, so we went. It was fun. I forget that I do actually like basketball. I miss the Stockton to Malone days and Charles Barkley, Muggsy Bogues and Dennis Rodman. I used to be in love with Allen Iverson. I wore his shoes and his jersey. 

2. Last Sunday I wore shorts and sandals and today it looks like this. 

3. After exchanging our Ikea mattress we had some store credit to use so I took care of that last week. I got all of this crap for $30. I was pretty stoked. 

4. I had an engineers print developed of a pic I took at the fair last summer. It was only $2 now I want to do more!!!

5. I couldn't resist this little bundle of PTV. 

6. He's always a snuggle-puss in the car. 

7. I made new merch tags and "handle with care" stickers for orders. 

7 Things

1. Every time I play The Simpsons Tapped Out game I want a donut. So, just about everyday.

2. Tyrone graduates in less than a month. I am so excited for him!

3. I made Game of Thrones cookies on Valentines Day and ate just about every single one of them by myself.

4. On Friday The 13th I had to take Fred to the vet. Brace yourself or move on if you don't want to hear the disgusting reason why. 

[Waiting for those that need to step away]

He had one of his anal glands become backed-up, which is apparently really common in small dogs. He'll be 8 next month so the fact that it's never happened before is pretty good, so I learned. I didn't even know such body part existed. They play an important role in helping them determine which pile of dog crap belongs to what dog. No shit! (No pun intended) His anal gland was actually swollen pretty badly and wouldn't excrete out of the anus like it should. It made its own hole and came out what we now call his secondary butt-hole. Because of that, he had to be put under to have it cleaned out and the vet was worried that he may have had a mass because he could feel a lot of tissue in there. Luckily there was no mass and almost two hours later I was able to come back and pick him up. It was the worst couple of hours. He freaked out this time. It was much worse than when he got fixed and had his teeth pulled. He remembered being there before and the look on his face when the doctor took him from me was horrifying. His big eyes glared so hard when I walked away. It was so awful! I was having major anxiety since it was so unexpected and the looming thought of cancer was not fun to have at the forefront of my mind while we waited. I'm just so fucking thankful he is okay now and we only have to take him in once a month now to have them cleaned regularly. He's my best buddy and I would die if something happened to him.

5. My little nephew Jax just turned two years old. I haven't seen him in a few weeks and I can't wait to squeeze him this Saturday. He won't like it but I'm doing it anyways. 

6. My brain is not right lately.

7. Of Mice & Men is coming to SLC in May - I need to go to that show. 

7 Things

1. This week my brain sure has been struggling. On Monday I parked in Tyrone's assigned parking spot and didn't even realize until he told me when he got home from work. It doesn't sound like a big deal but for me it is. I don't do things like that. At least it was his and not one of my neighbor's spots. 

2. I went to work on Tuesday with two different shoes on and didn't realize until I had been there for hours. 

3. Wednesday I was sick and the stress it caused just to call in was not worth the headache to stay home. I swear to God!!

4. Last Sunday we went to a farmers market with our friends and our dogs like a bunch of walking clichés, or at least that's how I felt. I did like being able to get fresh produce from local farmers but I'm not one to brag about doing so. Those who do are annoying. I don't want to come across like that. 

5. I made a shit ton of enchiladas last week for a work function and ended up with a ton left over. Never. Fucking. Again. 

6. Don't go to Costco with PMS cravings. 

7. When he brings me every one of his babies to get my attention. 

7 Things

 1. Still doing pretty good at keeping my fingers out of my mouth.

2. We finally saw Guardians of the Galaxy and it was freaking awesome. So good.

he's not using the cone anymore but I couldn't resist posting this. he was giving us MAJOR side-eye as we were walking out of the door to go see the movie. when his back is turned away you know he's pissed.

3. Anyone know what this is growing from my plant? 

 4. AF vandals at their best. Clever Fucks.

5. My view the other night while laying in bed. This is us most nights.

6. My view this afternoon while at a stop light.

7. Tyrone has been working on his sleeve for a good six months or more. The other night this fish looked really cool in the light with the scabs still on it. I thought so at least. The ink on this one is so bright it's almost unreal looking. By the time he's done he'll have one hell of an Under the Sea theme sleeve - little mermaid and singing lobster not included. 

Easter Egg (thanks for staying through the end credits)

My nephew with his two faces. He moved it while I was trying to take a panoramic shot of the them while we were at City Creek. 

7 Things

1. My brother called me Sunday night to make sure I was watching Wrestlemania 30 on regular TV. I had just walked into the house from grocery shopping (stupid adult responsibilities) so I had missed seeing The Rock, Hulk Hulgan and Stone Cold Steve Austin drink a beer together in the ring. Fuck! I was so pissed I missed that. Wrestlemania is ALWAYS on pay-per-view and I haven't had a desire to fork out money for it in more than 15 years. As kids, being able to see it on pay-per-view was a big treat because we didn't have cable. 10 min later after his initial call my brother calls me back to see if I'm watching The Undertaker make his entrance. We were like One Direction fans texting over their latest music video. Once the The Undertaker's match was over and I mean OVER because he lost to Cauliflower Ears (Brock Lesnar), my brother called me back AGAIN to express his displeasure with the match. It was a pure sibling bonding moment.

2. We saw Hercules the Sunday after it came out. I can't remember exactly when it was because my days are blurring together. I made sure we saw it in Imax 3D and it was worth it. I don't care what anyone else says about it. I liked it a lot! The archer ginger chick in it was awesome!

3. I can't believe it's August already. This morning it felt like Fall because it has been raining here like crazy. I was instantly filled with mixed emotions. 

4. My shop has been busier lately and that makes me happy. I was going to do a post on what I have added lately but half of it has sold, so it wouldn't have mattered anyways. I have a ton more items to add though. I'm so slow at editing pictures, writing descriptions, measuring garments....OK I'm slow at all of it.

5. I STILL HAVE NOT SEEN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. I went camping this weekend with my family up Diamond Fork in Spanish Fork Canyon. I only had minor hand-held device withdrawals. The first night was THE WORST I almost cried. No sleep, noises, ear wigs, box elder bugs, pretty much just all of the camping accoutrement that comes along with the miserable activity.

7. We have been loving watching The Strain on Sundays on FX. It's SOOOO good!!

7 Things

1. Still haven't posted a substantial blog post all week. I'm failing at my to-do list this week. 

2. I DID accomplish mending some slacks for Tyrone like a good 50's housewife.

3. I haven't had caffeine for 3 days. That is until this morning when it was time for the demon inside of me needed to be pushed deep down inside. It wasn't a pretty 3 days. 

4. I just now found a bug in one of the shells of the pistachio nuts I was eating. I almost fear-factored that shit without thinking before I really noticed what it was. FUCK-YUCK! It had a little web in it too. Now I'm going to be grossed out all day. I had to throw the whole bag out. No other option.

5. The weather lately is like Hell is creeping closer and closer preparing to swallow all of us miscreants up. 

6. I have to be out in the sun all day tomorrow and I'm not really excited about it because I've become less and less of a sun-worshiper the older/fatter I get. 

7. Going to The Offspring/Bad Religion/Pennywise show in August so that I can get my poser ass-kicked in fucking style. I saw The Offspring (with Cypress Hill-post rap days) almost exactly 15 years ago and it is still one of the best shows I've ever seen. They are fucking great performers.

7 Things

1. When work is mind-suckingly busy, I get home and do nothing the rest of the night, pant-less. I have no stamina. No stamina. No pants.

2. We've got up twice this week BEFORE work to walk\run (crawl\cry) and I could easily become an alcoholic if we keep this up for too long. Coping mechanism.

3. Today is free Slurpee day at 7 Eleven because the date is 7-11, if you couldn't figure that out for yourself. Free Slurpee day can be everyday if you're willing to lick the spillage off the floor like the kids in my neighborhood. Or even just tip your head under the Banana flavor dispenser real quick while the cashier is distracted by an idiot trying to pump gas before paying for it.

4. I need to get caught up on posting. I have a bunch of things lined up, but you know, I'd rather watch Netflix.

5. Lauryn Hill was in town for a show last night for the SLC twilight concert series. I was almost willing to overlook how gross it gets at that venue and even fight off all of the patchouli stained "Rainbow Family" looking assholes, just to see her. To be able to live-out my adolescent dreams of becoming a bad-ass 90's female rapper, as I yelled-sang out every word as she sang it herself would have been a highlight of the summer.

Fugess were my shit. They remind me of my friend Chaunga whom I forced to listen to me perform every solo of Lauryn's from The Score, obliviously from the drivers seat of my purple Geo Prizm. She was so obliging. 

6. I saw an ex-boyfriend's mom walking downtown the other day during my lunch break. She walked right past my car as I was waiting for the light to turn green. She had not changed from what I could tell. She looked exactly the same and still miserable as hell. She hated me so bad. I was instantly transported back in time and remembered all of the awful things she would say about me and to my face. I wondered if he ever got away from her grip and if she was making his current wife's life miserable. 

7. I've been watching Angel on Netflix before I go to bed. Last night was the episode where Doyle sacrificed himself and I got all sad because I really liked him (he was Becky's husband on Roseanne too. there's you useless fact of the day). He died of a heroin overdose in real life.