Obese.

This is what you eat when your doc and a health assessment taken at work tells you that you're obese. Then you look at the label on the salad after you've eaten it and notice that it has 33 grams of fat in it. Obese forever! 

What the Pho?

It's too easy of a pun to make. Tyrone wants to start a restaurant called that since he is such a fantastic chef especially when it comes to Vietnamese cuisine. Ha! I told him there is probably a place already called that. 

I was dying to try to make Pho. I love giving myself a reason to go to the Chinatown supermarket. I researched a lot of recipes and finally ended on Old Faithful. Martha Stewart. Most of the recipes were similar. Next time I make it I'm skipping boiling the meat. I don't like boiled meat plus it takes too long. It's gross too. I know it's the whole basis of the soup but I don't care. 

I love the comforting spices used in Pho and it makes great leftovers. 

*i ended up making this again using beef stock and it was really good. Buying a flank steak and cooking it separately,  slicing it up, and placing on top was perfect.  

Summer vibes

Yesterday we spent most of the day exchanging our new mattress from Ikea. It took all day because we needed a truck and that meant driving to American Fork to borrow my mom's. To AF, back to our apartment, down to Ikea, back to our apartment, return the truck to AF then finally back home. On our way down we stopped at Rubios for lunch and it was nearing 60 degrees and sunny as shit. So incredibly odd for January in Utah. It almost felt like Summer. Sitting in Rubios with its Baja palm tree decor helped a little and their amazing chicken tortilla soup. 

All day today I thought about that soup so I decided to make some for us to have for the next few days. 

Cilantro and lime has got to be one of the best flavor combos. 

Did I mention the first mattress we got was way too hard? (That's what she said) It was brutal. (That's what she said) I like it firm but only to a point (this is getting ridiculous-I'm a 12 year old boy) I didn't take into consideration the million other dirty people that laid on the model before me who broke it in. (Stop with the innuendos!!!!) We were more careful this time and found a much softer one and it ended up being cheaper as well. I'll take it! (FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!)

Fred loved the long car ride. He loves the sun too. And it's one of the few times he's chill and will snuggle. 

Naturebox

Opened all of them immediately to test all of the hype. They are all very good! I am always lost in the healthy snack aisle of the grocery store so I think this will help. 

Fetish.

Tyrone wanted me to send him some nudey pics and cook him some spaghetti tonight. Well actually, he wanted me to send him a pic of me naked covered in spaghetti, so I sent him this instead. 

Mad Hungry Cravings

I never pre-order anything but for some strange reason I did with this book. The photography is so gorgeous and the sort-of gritty side to it really pulled me. This is starting to sound like a sponsored post but I assure you it is not. I've loved Lucinda for some time now ever since watching her on Everyday Food on PBS. I hate her as much as love her. I want to be her but hate her snooty personality. It's about the way I feel about Martha. I can't wait to have my own kitchen again someday so I can start testing the recipes.

Emerald City Cupcakes

warnings:

*not suitable for children under 8*

*may cut mouth on shards of glass*

*people with crowns or bad teeth shouldn't attempt to eat*

I got a whim to make these and when that happens with anything that I can't stop thinking about, I have to follow through with it.

I used a regular box of yellow cake mix and pre-made cream cheese frosting. I also used the deviant cook's recipe for Breaking Bad blue meth candy to create the emerald city on tops of the cakes. I tried to break it up in skinny sharp pieces but tried to make them not too large or too small. I did crush some of it up into really tiny pieces for sprinkles.

I cooked them in gold cupcake paper molds which I thought was the perfect touch.

Tyrone calls them the shards of glass cupcakes.

This was really fun to do and they turned out great (I think so) but they are not the easiest to eat.

EATS: Pumpkin Pie Shake!

It's been awhile since I've posted a food related blog and since all I've been thinking about since I made these a few weeks ago I thought I would share. 

(prepare for crappy phone pics)

They're easy.

This is not a genius/original idea of mine.

I'm sure there are other/better recipes out there but this one is perfect.

I truly give you pumpkin perfection.

And if your not a huge pumpkin pie or pumpkin spice flavor fan like me (hate pumpkin spice lattes with a bloody passion) you will/may still love this as much as I do. 

Easy Pumpkin Pie Milkshakes

(makes 4 medium sized servings)

Breyers Vanilla Ice Cream - one 1/2 gallon carton

Small amount of whole milk (this is not a fat free dessert)

A small slice of pumpkin pie - store bought OK? Let's not get crazy and make our own from scratch.

Whipped Cream - I used the homemade recipe that I always use which is below:

(you can slap me later for making this myself - you can buy a can of whipped cream and it will almost taste the same - but not really)

Confused yet?

If you make a pumpkin pie from scratch you're bat shit crazy but if you make the whipped cream from scratch you're still cool. Got it? OK.

Homemade Whipped Cream

1 cup of heavy whipped cream

1 tsp of vanilla

2 T of sugar

*beat until thick and creamy

Scoop the ice cream in a blender and add a very small amount of milk. Just enough milk so that the ice cream blends smoothly. Add the slice of pie and mix until you get the desired consistency. I made ours very thick. Because that's how I like it, thick (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, whispered my husbands voice from deep within my sub-conscience.)

Top with whipped cream and be prepared for the horrible feeling of disgust, self-loathing and guilt you will feel for weeks afterwards.

Olive Garden can suck it

Saturday night we ended up in Provo after an eventful couple of hours of mind numbing planning with my family. This Italian restaurant is the best Italian food I've ever had. It's authentic and owned by the sweetest Italian people. I might love their checkered floors the most. It's the cutest little joint in Provo just off of State & University Ave. It is sort of behind the Los Hermanos.

We had fun and left fat & happy. What more could you ask for?

Afterwards we went to the DI (local thrift store) and my dad bought a huge stack of VHS tapes. You heard that right, VHS tapes. He was like a kid in a candy store. 

Well smack my ass and call me...

dare I say sentimental? The other night I listened to christmas music and made shortbread cookies. Shh! But don't tell anyone. I like to keep that side of myself under wraps.

The cookies did not turn out well. I need to find a better recipe than the one in my Better Homes cookbook.

I picked this package up because I had to have some shortbread in my belly. These store bought ones were much better than mine.

I guess the festive bug has burrowed it's way inside a bit.