Weekly Confessional

what the top of my dresser always looks like

Weekly Confessional

This couldn't possibly have anything to do with my current clown trauma. My mom said I just stared at myself in the mirror after she put it on me. Proof of how pictures can lie, I was definitely not happy in this photo. It could either be the ugly clown on my chest and head or the fact I was sitting on the porch of our single wide where a mean dog attacked me if I'm remembering it right.

circa - a long damn time ago

Weekly Confessional

I think everything in this photo is on trend. Mexican poncho, straw hat, navajo blanket, paper flowers, stupid look on the face. What I would give to have that poncho back.

circa 1985/1986 Tijuana, Mexico

Weekly Confessional

Look at all that brown and plaid. Oh, the 90's. 

my sixteenth birthday party
(picture of a picture from my scrapbook)

Weekly Confessional - proof

I told you I was in a traveling mime group.

picture of a picture taken straight out of my scrapbook

Weekly Confessional

Why I refuse to wear floral. I did my time as you can see.

circa 1989 - 1990
(picture of a picture & the start of series of confessions like this)

Weekly Confessional

I'm still sick, so I'm feeling a bit blah. I joked on twitter this morning about how I'm certain someone glued my eyelids shut during the night because I could not open them for the life of me. Cold medicine is bitter sweet isn't it? I love how I sleep on it but it sure makes me drag ass the next day.

Something that has been on my mind lately is that I feel like being a strong woman lately is being misinterpreted for being mean. Believe me, I know what mean women are like (I'm extremely familiar with them and someday I will go into more detail) I'm not mean in general. I'm blunt and I joke pretty aggressively at times here on the blog but in real life I'm not mean. I can be mean, I'm not saying I'm never mean, I just don't like being called mean in general especially by people who don't deal with me on a day to day basis. Strangers on the other hand would probably think I'm mean because I'm not approachable, which doesn't bother most of the time what they think but it's part of my social incompetence which I try to work on when I'm aware of it. It's hard though, when you are filled with an overwhelming bout of anxiety in certain social situations, you never know when it's going to come on and next to crawling into the fetal position in the middle of the floor of a house party I opt for standing in the corner with my arms folded. The martyr side of me feels like other people can be mean at times but they are never called out on it and yet they call me mean and I don't think that's fair at all. I have pretty dry humor which can be taken the wrong way and sometimes I don't see how that can affect others so I try to not always be that way but it's hard to just turn that off sometimes. I think for the most part I'm just trying to work this out in my brain by posting this which always seems to help in the end which is why I do it and the whole reason why I started these weekly confessionals.

Lastly, I didn't do my hair this morning. I went to bed with it in a bun and left the house with it all messed up and half pulled out with snarls and everything. It's very daring and high fashion of me ;)

Peace out Beatrices!

*later today I have a DIY to share - I'm posting this because it will hold me accountable to actually doing it*

Weekly Confessional

I don't hide anxiety well.

Weekly Confessional

I feel like I have to explain myself a bit here even though I know
it's my blog and I'LL DO WHAT I WANT (just like Cartman - watch this
if you haven't already, it's so damn funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZLVi4v7lSM - I would have hyperlinked
that shit except that I'm on my phone and haven't figure out that
function just yet, also that is the reason why this post will come out
looking like shit as well)

I have been super busy making things (for fun and for The Shop) which
has made me pretty happy except the part of taking pictures (waiting
for decent natural light which for me is only on the weekends as I
rarely see sunlight M-F), editing said photos, posting said photos and
including some genius rhetoric and explanation that attempts to amuse
the masses (all four of you) to accompany failed photos. It's as if
I've lost a bit of desire to post DIY's because of how much time they
take up. I'm not saying I want to stop it's just that I'm so exhausted
most days to even attempt to sit down at my computer. I have avoided
my home computer for the last few weekdays of this week and last week.
I don't even want sit down at it to check my email. I never go on FB
or Twitter on it. I usually like to blog on the weekends like on
Sundays but this last weekend didn't work out to be able to do that
and to be honest I didn't really care.

On a more boring note we may sell the Rodeo tonight, the $200 dollar
car we purchased after we lost Tyrone's Evo a few years ago, so cross
your fingers that we are able to do that. It's kind of sad because
that Rodeo has been an utterly pure blessing for us. It has literally
made us money and I'm not even talking about after selling it. We are
in the positive on it so I feel a little bad letting it go like we're
being ungrateful or something but we just got Tyrone a new car, one
that is more reliable because he travels more with his new job, so
besides that having three cars is pretty ridiculous after selling it
will help out with going to towards the new car. We bought a VW Jetta
TDI and I could not be more thrilled. VW TDI's are the best cars in
the world. A Golf TDI is my dream car but they are so damn expensive -
maybe one day I'll get one. I have a dream of being able to order one
in the color and everything I want some day. Some day. Just typing
makes me sound greedy because I drive a pretty damn nice car right now
and I would drive it forever and up until it eventually died. I know
there are a lot of people that are against VW's but they can suck it
and if you're one of them well I'm sorry. But not really sorry. Thank
God for America!

I've started to ramble so I'm going to end it here.

DIY's coming soon and more videos too.

Peace out Beatrices!

Weekly Confessional: Drowning

This week is drowning me and I haven't done anything at all. It has me
all discombobulated. I'm dying to get back on track.

Weekly Confessional - me no spell so well

I leave auto-correct on when using my phone because even if something doesn't make sense at least it's spelled correctly.

Weekly Confessional: Taking a Blog Break

Hi,

I'm going to be taking a blog break for the rest of the week. I have a
lot of crocheting and wrapping to do as well as a crap load of
cleaning to do. I also want time to spend with Tyrone and maybe go
look at lights in some rich people's neighborhood. Work has been
mind-suckingly busy and it has me drained by the time I get off. It's
been more rough than usual so I need a brain break as well.

I wish you all a very merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah; I'll be back next week!

-Brandy

Weekly Confessional: Bonus Edition

I hate It's A Wonderful Life! It can die, die, die and live happily ever after in the eternal pit of annoying movies.

Weekly Confessional - Our Tree

You might be surprised to know that there isn't a single vintage, old, retro, or any other old-timey word type of ornament on my tree. Every ornament was bought and not even handmade. I'm gasping internally over this but it just sort of happened that way. We haven't put up a tree in about three years and I went back and forth over this in the past few weeks but Wednesday evening after we helped my mom and dad put up their tree we (Tyrone) loaded up the car with our boxes of Christmas crap and I stayed up passed 1pm putting it up. I love our white tree. There are so many cool things you can do with white trees. I hope to keep it forever and since it's faux I very well could do that.

I am not a fan of real Christmas trees. The pine stank makes me gag and I freak out if I get pine sap on my body. They are also a huge pain in the ass and not financially sound during a time when we have to fork out enough dough as it is.

In the future I envision a vintage tinsel tree with handmade and vintage ornaments that my kids have helped me make and we have put up together but for now this will do just fine. I'm just so excited to have a tree up. For someone who isn't into Christmas I do love putting up a tree for it. I actually have about six trees in storage. I don't think Tyrone is going to be okay with me putting them all up someday.

"Can I get some more close up shots of ornaments please?!"

things I say in my head when I'm taking pictures

Weekly Confessional: Alien Movies

I love Alien Movies. I know this doesn't have crap to do with Christmas or December or the cold weather but those topics bore me so I'm writing about aliens.

 

I was thinking the other day that the majority of the movies we've seen lately have been about aliens and then another thought came to mind about how much I love alien movies. I don't know why exactly, something about the mystery of them and letting my imagination run wild about the possibility of their existence. I listen to old episodes of Art Bell quite frequently and my favorite topics of his shows were about all of the conspiracies around aliens and what not. They fascinate me. It's also funny listening to the old Coast to Coast AM shows from the 90's and the conspiracies people had about various topics that have come and gone and nothing has happened when supposedly the world was "for sure" going to end. People are crazy; it's the crazy one's I adore.

 

Alien movies as of late (in no specific order):

 

Cowboys & Aliens – most people and or critics hated this show but we loved it. I still do, in fact just to spite all of the naysayers I am going to run out and buy it. Hello!! James Bond in tight pants and chaps, come on!

 

Apollo 18 – This one wasn't that good but besides being almost exactly like Paranormal Activity except with aliens it was actually more creepy-crawly type of scary than actually scary. I mean giant spider-like things crawling inside of an astronaut's suite would make anyone's skin crawl.

 

Super 8 – By far my favorite movie of the year, besides X Men: First Class (I'm showing my nerdiness here today folks) I loved it and thought it is truly underrated. The kids in this movie are top-notch and have mouths like sailors and I love it. I love me a good sailor mouth. I think this movie is up there with E.T. but I'm sure some might disagree with me. OK. It's not as good as E.T. but it's better than any other movie that has come out in a long time that isn't about a fucking superhero or overcompensates by a million sexual and drug related jokes. It's original, funny, cute and the whole family can enjoy it despite the sailor mouths. It's really not that bad at all.

 

Attack the Block – AWESOME!! Also underrated. Funny. I'm scared to death of the kids in this movie (they would kick my ass). If you haven't seen it you should give it a shot. We just recently watched it and I became an instant fan.

 

Lastly, there will always be a place in my heart for Sigourney Weaver kicking alien's heads in. I've always wanted to recreate when the alien comes our of her stomach. I don't know where or how I would do this today but it would still be fun. Maybe next year for Halloween or randomly for Groundhog Day. A groundhog ripping through the flesh of my stomach in order to see it's shadow. Fantastic idea.

 

You can make fun of me all you want for writing this post if you really feel the need to be a jerk. I don't' mind. I'll just complain about you on twitter.

Weekly Confessional - Dr. Everything'll Be Alright

I've had Let's Go Crazy by Prince on repeat in my head for weeks now. It's appropriate for the time being I'm sure.

 

Yes I'm back to complain about how I am still sick. Pneumonia is still here but I think my ear infection is gone now; not so much pain there any more.

 

We are now starting week 8 of this shit. I can't explain it any other way than that so if you're offended by my language that will have to be too bad.

 

The rundown of this whole debacle goes as follows:

 

After being sick for two weeks I went to the "Saturday" doctor where Tyrone's primary doctor is located. We both went to get checked out; he diagnosed us as having the "same bug" prescribed us both the same antibiotic and told us to take Mucinex D as well. OK great.

 

Four weeks later Tyrone is better and I'm worse. I finally decide to go to the Instacare near our house and that doctor told me the first doc gave me the wrong antibiotic and told me I didn't have "some bug." They took an xray of my chest, the doctor reviewed it, told me my lungs looked normal and sent me home with an antibiotic for my ear infection and told me to stop taking Mucinex D and that it was crap and told me to take Sudafed D and Delsym. OK great.

 

We picked up all that prescribed crap that was recommended and went home. The next day on my way home from work I got a call from the radiologist who took the xray of my chest and she told me that I have pneumonia and prescribed me another antibiotic. One that would supposedly wipe the pneumonia and ear infection away and that I should stop taking the one I was prescribed the night before. OK great.

 

It's been a little over a week since then and I'm on the end few days of this antibiotic and I still feel so exhausted, I have no appetite and my cough is still here. Albeit, not as bad as it was but it's still here. Yesterday morning after taking all of my drugs I ended up throwing it all up plus any other thing that had been camping out in my stomach. The throw up sessions have been violent but few, which is a bonus I guess. But I have also been nauseated about 85% of the time.

 

I'm beginning to rethink this idea of procreating.

 

I'm such a baby when it's comes to being nauseated and throwing up. Picture big tears, whaling, body convulsions, extreme whining that could match Sammy Sweetheart, soggy red faced, literally hugging the toilet seat like it's the Virgin Mary.

 

And picture Tyrone putting up with me through all of that. He understands throwing up (since he does it on the daily) so he's actually super supportive and actually very motherly. This is not reciprocated when he is sick. I definitely do not take as good of care of him when he's sick as he does for me. Bless his soul.

 

PNEUMONIA SUCKS!!

 

This isn't related but I'm going to complain about it anyways since I'm on a roll. Our lease for our apartment is up soon and the new property management is raising our monthly rate if we decide to extend our lease. At first I was outraged, pissed, wished hateful obscenities their way. I have since calmed down and we have weighed our options and have decided to stay another while longer in our 1 bedroom. I'm 33, shouldn't I be living in at least a 2 bedroom? Sheesh. I thought this place was temporary but we've been here for two years now. At first it didn't make sense to stay when they're raising the rate when Tyrone is out of work but in the long run it's cheaper to stay for 6-8 months than it would be to move. I'll just have to suck it up for a little while longer which was a real pride gut puncher I'll tell you what. When you make plans for your future and think things are supposed to be a certain way when you're a certain age or at a certain time in your life and it doesn't go as planned it's hard to swallow. Apparently we're not done learning our life lessons.

 

I've about had it with the life lessons.

One a positive note we decided to give our large luv sac beanbag to my brother which gives us a bunch more room in our living room and that means we can put up a Christmas tree this year. So yeay!

Weekly Confessional

I'm just going to warn you right now that if you don't want to hear any whining this morning then you should probably skip this post.

 

I got sick on October 7th, my birthday, and I'M STILL SICK. I still have a cough and yesterday my body decided that it didn't want to keep any food down. I puked all day long at work and at home it was even more violent. AND NO I'M NOT PREGNANT.

 

Tyrone has been sick as well throughout this mess and it has just kicked both of our butts.

 

It's so hard to get anything done. When I get home from work all I want to do is take a bath and then die...or go to bed.

 

I'm so sick of it I could scream.

 

So I will.............AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh and top it all off Tyrone was let go from his job. Hurray for the holidays!!

 

Shoot me.

 

Weekly Confessional

I've been dreaming of eating Thanksgiving dinner ever since the last week of Halloween. Okay, October. October should just be called Halloween Month slash Birthday Month. I also dream of large dinners at perfectly set dinning room tables and smiles on everyone's faces. I don't know why, mostly I blame Martha Stewart, there is just something very calming about the whole facade to me. You know if it really weren't a facade and I'm not reminded what would actually happen if my entire family were to get together. It would be far from perfect, a quality I both adore and one that makes me cringe. Thanksgiving dinner can be a nightmare and lovely all at the same time. We usually end up doing it with both of our families which isn't very relaxing. I can't wait to have a house someday and make them all come to our house. I would of course attempt the perfect feast and extraordinarily decorated table. This makes me all warm and fuzzy and yet stresses me all out at the same time and I remember how thankful I actually am that I don't have a house and am not obligated to host any holidays.

As I was browsing the latest issue of Better Homes I couldn't help but think (after I relieved myself of any jealousy) does anyone have Thanksgiving dinner like this? Is anyone's house this perfectly situated and heart-warming? I'm guessing not so much but if yours is, can I be invited? I just want to experience this once in my life. Just once.

Weekly Confessional

People, we need to stop complaining about Kim Kardashian being famous for nothing. We only have ourselves to blame. We made her famous. We created this monster. Let me admit something here too, I love their damn show. I don't get to watch it regularly because I don't have cable but that's besides the point. I would watch it every day if I could. I'm not going to get into this whole divorce fiasco on here because I have one of them nasty things behind me plus, I don't give a shit if they are married or not.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that we really don't need to get all worked up over it when we pretend to not care about them in the first place. I laugh at everyone who complains about it on Twitter because it just gives them more attention and we all know they're tuning in every week to watch just as I would be, you know if I had cable that is.

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Weekly Confessional

I totally forgot to put deodorant on today. I didn't notice until this afternoon when I could smell myself.

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