February 22, 2012
Something that has been on my mind lately is that I feel like being a strong woman lately is being misinterpreted for being mean. Believe me, I know what mean women are like (I'm extremely familiar with them and someday I will go into more detail) I'm not mean in general. I'm blunt and I joke pretty aggressively at times here on the blog but in real life I'm not mean. I can be mean, I'm not saying I'm never mean, I just don't like being called mean in general especially by people who don't deal with me on a day to day basis. Strangers on the other hand would probably think I'm mean because I'm not approachable, which doesn't bother most of the time what they think but it's part of my social incompetence which I try to work on when I'm aware of it. It's hard though, when you are filled with an overwhelming bout of anxiety in certain social situations, you never know when it's going to come on and next to crawling into the fetal position in the middle of the floor of a house party I opt for standing in the corner with my arms folded. The martyr side of me feels like other people can be mean at times but they are never called out on it and yet they call me mean and I don't think that's fair at all. I have pretty dry humor which can be taken the wrong way and sometimes I don't see how that can affect others so I try to not always be that way but it's hard to just turn that off sometimes. I think for the most part I'm just trying to work this out in my brain by posting this which always seems to help in the end which is why I do it and the whole reason why I started these weekly confessionals.
Lastly, I didn't do my hair this morning. I went to bed with it in a bun and left the house with it all messed up and half pulled out with snarls and everything. It's very daring and high fashion of me ;)
Peace out Beatrices!
*later today I have a DIY to share - I'm posting this because it will hold me accountable to actually doing it*