October 31, 2011

Blog? What blog?

Oh you guys .....

I've never had my ass kicked so hard by a round of antibiotics.

I've already said too much.

Posts coming soon.

Hope you had a very haunted Halloween!
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October 27, 2011

Weekly Confessional

I totally forgot to put deodorant on today. I didn't notice until this afternoon when I could smell myself.
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A Scary Story

Well, this sort goes a long with Halloween because it is a scary story but not really Halloween related. I originally wrote it as a guest post but that didn't work out as planned so it's making an appearance here, as it should. If you have a minutes sit back and try to picture this with me.
Happy Halloween!
I think it was around autumn; I remember being cold and thoughts of Halloween were on my mind so it actually could have been any time of year since I tend to always be thinking about Halloween. I had just walked in to our apartment after getting home from work. At the time we lived in a large two bedroom, two bathroom apartment. I performed the usual routine, let the dog out, get the mail and use the restroom in the bathroom attached to the master bedroom. After I walked out of our bedroom I thought I heard something coming from the other bedroom which was on the other side of the apartment. I'm not trying to say that we lived in a giant space but the spare bedroom and bathroom just weren't areas of the house we hung out in frequently. As I walked over to investigate the noise I stopped in the kitchen to grab a steak knife. Picture the dumb blond in some B movie that you're screaming at not to go towards the noise. I mean, I admit I thought about how dumb this was, going towards the noise but in my mind I was smart enough to grab a knife. That was my justification; a freaking steak knife. That would for sure save my life. But you see I'm a weapon kind of girl and not in the NRA sense I just mean that if I feel that my life is threatened I WILL look for the closest thing near me that could possibly cause the most damage.

What's funny about this story is that my dog wasn't acting weird or barking at any strange noises. That is definitely the other reason for my brief moment of invincibility and or stupidity. He has a very comforting protective bark that is distinct from his other barks, you know the annoying ones? So I wasn't too worried because the dog wasn't giving me any clues.

I entered the hallway between the spare bathroom and the closet which housed our washer and dryer and began gingerly peering into the bathroom and then into the bedroom which was at the end of the hallway. As I leaned into the room like a stealth ninja or more so like a Charlie's Angel, which is what I prefer, I braced myself for well, nothing. I thought for sure I was just losing my mind and wouldn't find a darn thing. I mean, let me tell you I have heard many noises, in many places, in various situations where I'm alone or it's just me and the dog and I have reacted nearly the same way, knife-in-hand, ready to bust some ass only to come up short. But this apartment was different, it was actually built really well. I never heard the other neighbors through the walls. Never. I'm not kidding. I never heard a loud TV or radio or even some newly married couple yelling at each other in the middle of the night. I never even heard a dog barking outside or even kids playing out on the grass. In return, we never even had a neighbor complain about us either. Not a single time did anyone complain about our dog running around on the floor or barking or how loud we like to listen to our gangster rap or that one time I repeatedly stabbed that door-to-door salesman in the back. No one said a word about his screaming. It was pretty much the perfect place to live aside from the OUTRAGEOUS monthly rate and the jerk-off management.

I took a deep breath before letting the steak knife proceed me when entering the spare bedroom and just as I exhaled I heard someone behind me. It was definitely not my dog and it was for sure a human. I think I was hoping for an alien or even God himself. I quickly turned around and with all of my strength I flung that steak knife around and aimed straight for....wait....what?.....looking up at this intruders face I realized that it was my husband and I immediately clammed up in fear and then almost instantly I fell to the ground and began sobbing. I sobbed like a little girl who saw her stuffed animals get thrown into a giant compost machine and watched as they were ripped to shreds. I sobbed because I almost just stabbed my husband right in the stomach. I sobbed because this time I trusted my instincts when I heard the noise and it turned out I was right that someone was in our apartment. I sobbed also because it scared the living poo out of me when I heard that person standing behind me. Oh and did I mention I almost stabbed my husband? My husband. My young, vibrant, sexy husband who's abs I happen to enjoy, yeah him, I almost freaking stabbed him. I could have killed him. Dead.

My husband, above mentioned guy, in case you haven't been paying attention, is a huge prankster and he was kneeling beside me excreting apology after apology trying to hug me yet failing at it miserably. I definitely wanted to kill him now but for completely different reasons. He was always sneaking up on me trying to scare me even though he knows it only pisses me off. I don't like to be startled it ignites an anger inside of me that I can't explain. I just flat out hate it. Get me in a haunted house and I'm less likely to punch some teenager wearing a crappy mask who scares me than I am if I'm in my own house getting a drink of water and someone comes up from behind to scare me. It's different; totally diverse situations (humor me).

I distinctly remember him spewing a hallow promise about never scaring me ever again but I can't even begin to count how many times he has scared me since that day even though his life was threatened. Death won't even stop him from being annoying and that's pretty much how the rest of my life is going to go.

Junk Hunt

Fall is for snuggling up in blankets and watching movies
If I find a good afghan blanket at the thrift store I buy it. These are all thrifted and I do have a few others that were gifts. I have yet to let myself make one. That's too much of a commitment for me and I'm still getting use to this whole marriage deal, ya know what I mean?

I also found this vintage dress recently that I am excited to wear just as soon as I motivate myself to alter it a bit.

October 26, 2011

October 25, 2011

DIY Jack Skellington

the paper mache version
I've been working on this for awhile. I didn't know what I was getting into deciding to paper mache a 36" round balloon. I'm 33 and I have never done any sort of paper mache, not even in grade school. It was fun but it was time consuming. This giant head took about 36 hours to dry. I'm not exaggerating. I even finished him off with a black felt collar. Naturally my instincts were to make an entire life-sized version but I held myself back, on purpose. I mean, come on, how insane would that have been? I'd like to appear some-what normal.
Chillin' next to Jay Z, no big deal

The breakdown:
paper mache a giant ass balloon
after it dries (this will take forever) paint it white
then paint on his face with black paint
it really is too easy
add a black felt collar
{he is actually glued down to a small piece of cardboard that the collar is attached to as well}
I took these pictures after the sun went down, you can probably tell. You can expect dark, ugly pictures on the blog from here on out since the sun doesn't stay out as long. I don't get home from work until it's dark so I'm left to take pics on the weekends and at night and mamma likes to get her drink on during the winter weekends (coping mechanism) so dark pictures it is. (for those of you who are new around here, I'm joking. I drink way more than just on the weekends ;)

his head is ALMOST as big as mine

This is our front door, nothing too spectacular but I wanted to share. This is what our non-social neighbors get to see when they walk by every day.

And I added a few creepy crawlers to The Mantle, they add a nice touch

DIY Halloween Costume Series - B. Rex

Pardon me while I fantasize with this one. If you don't know me, well, I love T. Rex (Marc Bolan) and I had a top hat so it was a perfect match. If only my top hat was larger.

Top Hat (essential), jacket, graphic tee, black eyeliner


October 24, 2011

Almost finished!

This guy has been more difficult to finish than I thought he would.

Can't wait to share!
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DIY Halloween Costume Series - Bride of Frankenstein

This is more of a modern version of the Bride of Frankenstein. Instead of using a sheet I wanted to use something more fashionable for lack of a better term so I picked up this lacy round tablecloth. All I had to do was cut a hole in the middle of it. I went for a bit of a poncho look but instead it just added twenty pounds. Oh well. I had fun. My favorite part were the tights. I picked them up at Walmart but they lasted all but two seconds. If they had been a little thicker I would have kept them and worn them year round. I had a pretty hard crush on these tights. The messy beehive was fun to do too. I really liked it and will have to try this for another day. There's a lot of would-haves in this paragraph because I was strapped for time putting it together, which was a bit of a bummer. I had to hurry and get it all done and take pictures before dropping Tyrone off for work.

I do love it though and I still haven't decided if this is what I'm actually going to be on Halloween.

Do you know what you're going to be yet? Let me know I would love to hear.
round lace tablecloth, skeleton tights (or a bright color pair of tights), white skirt, long sleeve shirt (mine was gray but you can't see it very well), black belt, flats or some killer heels would look good too, contrasting color hair piece (if you've seen the MS version they used white yarn for the strip in her hair), 

October 23, 2011

DIY Halloween Costume Series - The Mugshot

The Mugshot

Want to make your own mugshot nameplate?
Check out the guest post I did over at Mary Rebecca's blog.

There a few more costumes coming in the next few days...

October 22, 2011

fall Saturday morning

brunch + goodies + pumpkins + family
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October 21, 2011

I'm somewhere else today....

I'm over at Mary Rebecca's awesome blog guest posting today...go check it out...NOW!!! (it's a continuation of the costume series)

October 20, 2011

Godzilla stopped by the other day

I get a glimpse of the outside through an office window that isn't far from my cubicle. Saying that it's a glimpse is actually pretty generous because the view is of another brick building that appears close enough you could reach out and touch it. The other day, every now and then for about twenty minutes or so a huge shadow would pass by the window slowly. It was sunny outside this particular day which is why it was noticeable. I was thinking maybe Godzilla was out there or a giant hot air balloon with my husband in it coming to take me away. I held my breath at one point to see if I could hear any thundering foot steps. Nothing. I would only hear the sound of busy fingers typing and souls slowly dying, unfortunately. Our floor is quiet. It's more quiet than any other place I've worked. I worked alone once in a single room office for an appraiser. I WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE MOST DAYS and this place with about 30 people or so is MORE quiet than it was. Do you feel me?
We share a building with our sister company who calls our floor The Morgue.
You can't argue with that.
I still wonder what that shadow was all about. Maybe it was a giant pterodactyl circling above plotting its course. It was probably just a plane or helicopter although I'm going to go with Godzilla. It's much more interesting.
{remember, I'm sick so I'm all messed up in the head right now}

still sick

Taking some time to see if I can heal. I don't know what is going on but this cold is kicking my arse.
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October 19, 2011

Junk Hunt

This is hands down may favorite album cover that I have come across so far. I love her. She will be hanging in my living room as a permanent fixture.