January 25, 2011

Wkly Conf: Why do they get to have babies and i don't?

Why does someone like_________get to be pregnant?

It's a commonly asked question among women who have had trouble conceiving and among those that haven't. It's definitely one that I've asked grudgingly with bitter undertones. When asked, I feel very justified in asking but after some thought I feel selfish for asking when others have had harder times than me at trying to get pregnant.

As scientifically precise as it has to be for one to get pregnant it's been proven it's not so easily controlled by individuals like we think it is. A woman can do everything by the book and still have problems with her pregnancy or even with their newborn baby. And there are the ones that we all see who seem that all they have to do is drink the wrong water and they get pregnant. It seems so easy for them. Lastly there are the ones who cause me the most bitterness, who get pregnant in the worst of situations. You know what I'm talking about. Those who "by the book" should never have been able to conceive. The ones on drugs or who have alcoholism or have eating disorders....or, or, or. Fill in the blank. (This is where I stop typing because I don't want to feed me rage and that's exactly what I'll do if I continue on this particular subject.)

I think it all just confirms what a miracle it really is. The miracle of life.

With all that said, my point is that even though I may still hold on to a little bitterness (okay A LOT of it) I am still trying to be thankful that at least I know I can get pregnant. Some people can't even do that and I'm not sure which one I'd rather have. Being able to get pregnant gives me some hope that I may be able to have children some day...it's the keeping it around part that I need work on...or patience probably.

{The pic above was on Post Secret this Sunday. My cousin who is the sweetest ever sent it to me just as I was passing it along to a friend too after I had just read it. Great minds. We all need a little support now and then. It's always good to know there are others out there who have or are going through the same thing you are.}


Lindsay Chipman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindsay Chipman said...

If you think it is something that may help you we would love to see you.
Sorry about this weird little comment.

Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I've miscarried, and it was hard to go through, even though I don't want a baby. I can only imagine how hard it would be if you really, really want one. But I get angry at those situations, too. Where there are so many people out there who want a baby so badly, why is it the ones who can't even take care of themselves that get pregnant?

Anyway, I'll try not to feed your rage. Just know I love you!

Anika said...

It really doesn't seem fair when awesome people like you have a harder time to conceive than some person who doesn't have their life together, isn't creative, isn't funny, doesn't love their child, isn't appreciative of their life and love, and doesn't take care of themselves or family... it sucks. Now I am getting revved up. Sending some get-pregnant-now waves your way.

Janet Bocciardi said...

Sending relaxing thoughts and big O and big tummy and kicking feet and big owie and crying baby thoughts your way. (Imagining the whole process, you see!) Hoping you got a smile out of it even as you know it's all out of your control.

I was born to parents that probably, defintely, maybe shouldn't have been parents.. so the other side of that is that I'm happy to be here! ; )

I've seen the frustration and sadness that comes with wanting it so much... one of those life's not fair! and hope you welcome a bundle of cuteness into your life in the not too distant future.

Anonymous said...

I can't not even imagine what it's like to have a miscarriage. I'm sorry you've had to experience it. I definitely have to agree with you that it is in fact a miracle. Hang in there and try to be positive. I know that's such a cheerleader thing to say but I really think positive energy helps with anything.

Anonymous said...

I have had 2 miscarriages myself and wish more would talk about it, instead of it being such a taboo subject here in the beehive state,then we could help each other out,instead of look down on, i love your blog and feel for you .

Jennikunz said...

I disagree that it is a taboo subject in the beehive state. I have felt very supported during and after mine. I think MOST women that havent had one don't understand it. I know I didn't. I didnt understand how emotional and tramatic it is/was. I hated every second of it and cried like a baby... but felt commpassion. I love you Bray! Your my BFF (ya I said it) You will have beautiful babies!! MUAH!

brandy-son Zen master flash said...

You're a lucky gal Jennikunz...love ya. Not so sure if it's taboo but I do know that a lot of women feel very ashamed and don't feel comfortable talking about it because as women we are "suppose" to procreate.