January 18, 2011

In where I write a blog post due to me being emotionally charged (probably)



It's kind of a bitch. You try to make friends and decent contacts with others involved in the same world you are in. The problem with this is that most of this community consists of women and we're a hormonal bunch. You never know when you're going to say something to offend someone or piss them off. You can be gal pals one day and the next day they'll block you for breathing wrong.


My blog isn't that big so I haven't experienced a lot of the negativity that comes with gaining a larger readership. As much as I would like to gain more exposure I'm actually kind of scared of it because I'm not good at letting things like that roll off with ease (hence this blog post). I have the tendency to bite back and not in a nice way. I'd probably end up losing more readers in the long run if I did that. I'm trying to be adult about silly situations in the social networking environment that irritate me or hurt my feelings before things get worse if they ever do.


Understanding that most people are not going to have the same opinion as I do makes reading and commenting on other's posts easier for me by not saying something I'm going to regret in the log run. Stopping myself before commenting on another person's blog when I'm emotionally charged; we all need to do this as women. Constructive criticism is one thing but being down right rude is another. Most people take time to write their posts and hitting the publish button can take a lot for someone to do. Putting yourself out there is hard. It gets easier the more you do it but understanding that we all have feelings and that there is a real person behind the post is mature and saves you from a much bigger headache.
{I'm all for free speech so if you can't help yourself vent on your own blog about it. There are blogs out there that fule debates and are mean spirited on purpse and I'm not talking about them.}


Now, there are plenty of blogs and social communities out there that really chap my hide but I've had to either stop reading them or remove myself completely from them. For example, I had to delete my Myspace account because I feel like it was a big cesspool of horny little kids and backstabbing bitches. And even though I met my husband on there it was something that had to go. It was something I started in my single life that I needed to let go especially after I got married. Facebook is another place that most of the time when I log on just annoys me so much which is sad because it consists of the "real" people in my life like family and friends or people I went to high school with. Sometimes relatives and old acquaintances are the ones who get under your skin the most. I think this makes me bitter because I feel like these are the people in my life that "should" be supporting me when I post something to my shop or blog but most of them don't so I've stopped posting on there for the most part (me being a big baby). I'm just being honest. It's another reason why I haven't started a Facebook fan page for my blog – I am super hesitant of making one and not sure if it will really help my blog or my shop out. I go back and forth with this. I've also decided not to log onto Blog Frog anymore for many, many reasons. Not because of the Blog Frog creators or because what they've started isn't a good idea but because of the people on there who are mostly self-righteous, judgmental mothers. I'm not a self-righteous mother yet so it's only natural that I stay away. I have met a few good eggs on there so I can't say that it's all crap. It fuels my anger so I've decided to stay away due to my health. When I become a mother I just might decide to join in again because I'll be up on my high horse looking down on the rest of the world and I'll want a place to justify my craziness. I stick to Twitter because it's the kind of environment that I don't expect a response from yet am surprised when I do especially since most people I talk to on there I've never met before in real life. When I post a blog link on Twitter I notice my stats go up as apposed to not. And if someone says something on there that I don't like then I just ignore it or unfollow that person but I never block them. The only people I do block on Twitter are the bots that just follow you to get them to follow you back. I've had a few douches (local media guys) that will follow me and if I don't follow them back right away they unfollow me but then they will follow me again the next week and start the cycle over again. Those people I block.


Also, there are a few blogs that I read for pure masochism and for a good laugh because I can be mean spirited but I don't leave nasty comments for them. I read them, laugh, shake my fist at my monitor and move on. Move on.


I DON'T comment on other's blogs just to get them to come back to my blog. I don't have time for that shit. I have a full time job that takes up a lot of my time and a husband and dog who take up almost the rest of it. I don't' read and comment on other's blogs because I'm bored. I like doing. I love reading other's posts because I gain so much inspiration from them and some are just nice to read or visually stimulating. (I just said stimulating – haha!)


Now this isn't to say because I don't comment on your blog that I don't' like it. I just don't have a lot of time. I probably comment on the 25% (if that) of the blogs I follow. Knowing this about myself makes it easier for me to accept why others don't comment on my blog.


I love the relationships that I've gained in Blogland I just wish it wasn't so fickle.
{So there's my rant for the week - Ahhhhh, I feel better now.}


Oh Honestly Erin said...

Girl, I love you so much more for this. Mostly because it took balls to write and also because I so agree with you. There are times when I read a comment and just think, "What would possess someone to say that?" Its always the ones who are weak IRL and use the Internet as their armor.

And what you said about FB? I have found that my family and friends whom I've had the longest are the ones who support me the least. And that hurts. I use networked blogs on FB and the people who comment on it are my online friends, mostly.

I'm not just saying this, but yours is one of the few blogs i read daily because it's so REAL. I think that's a trait that is really hard to find in the prodominantly female blogosphere where everyone is vying to be the best and have the most "perfect" family. Screw that.

memaw said...

hahaha such a true blog , way to go

emily said...

great post! i agree with you on many points. i've been spending a lot of time checking out different blogs, and there is a strange community out there that i am trying to avoid. maybe its because i'm 32 surrounded by a lot of early 20's bloggers? not sure, but i get sick of the same old, same old. that's why i keep coming back HERE and reading the good stuff! :)