In My Brain...a new series

Recently Tyrone and I had found a new thing to make fun of my mom about. If your family is like ours then this is always a good thing. Tyrone was the first to pick up on this little tick of hers and when we got home one night after visiting my parents he started saying things like the following. 


"In my brain"
"In my brain I love chocolate"
"In my brain I hate that show"
"In my brain I feel like going for a walk"
"This makes me feel like [blank] in my brain"


Or when I would start to tell him something, a story, anything really, he would say "In your brain? Is that what happened in your brain? I asked him what the hell he was getting at and he said, "your mom says that after or before anything she says lately." I laughed because it was true but I hadn't quite picked up on it like he had. So for the next few weeks the game was on. We kept (and are keeping) ourselves pretty entertained with it.


To help you understand this a little better Tyrone calls my mom Crazy Daisy.


Crazy = the quirky things she does
Daisy = is the nickname our family gave her from the british comedy Keeping Up Appearances. It's also why we call my dad Onslo.


So, the next time I saw my mom I told her that I was going to start a regular blog series on my blog which was inspired by her. Without me even telling her what it was she immediately said something like "it's about time I do something crazy enough to make an appearance on your blog." I wasn't sure if I should be flattered by that or not but I did laugh pretty hard because I had no idea this was something she had been pining after. I'm still not exactly sure I remember explaining to her what it was about. Things like finishing your sentences and being able to answer a question in full around my family because damn near impossible due to all of the ADHD adults around so we'll find out soon enough if she is surprised by this post or not. 


Basically I'll just be dry heaving any random thought that comes In My Brain on the blog like Tyrone throws up after a big meal. Or small meal. Or after drinking spicy milk. Or breathing.


So pretty much life as usual.


A Horror Show, but not quite up to par with a true smut film.


Disclaimer: By no means am I admitting to turning into my mother.


one. I still dream of sleeping in a bed full of stuffed animals so I’ve become addicted to buying afghans (because those are more adult) and pretending my body pillow is a giant stuffed dog like the one I had growing up that is still being held captive somewhere in my parent’s creepy basement. 


two. Panicking at the thought of Google going away and having to revert back to pioneer days of trusting ignorant “facts” from the elderly. And books. I then prayed for Google’s soul and vowed to never take it for granted again.

three. Cleaning my lenses over and over and over again has nearly driven me crazy when I stop to think about how many moments in my day I've wasted trying to rub the facial grease off of them that just won't ever go away. It's the kind of rabbit hole that would traumatize the fuck out of Alice for the rest of her life. All of the Four Eyes out there can relate to this.

four. Keeping my mouth shut is hard when I'm not at work. At work I'm on the my best behavior but when something happens in my personal life and it deeply effects me or someone I love then I can get pretty fucking mouthy. But when I'm told to keep my mouth shut I think it makes it harder even though I know it's the right thing to do. Heads should be rolling, but they're not and I'm not-so-gently biting my bottom lip. 

five. My bathroom has become so filthy that it is literally unacceptable to take a dump in. Frederick won't even drag his ass across the floor in there and he does it in public in front of the other dogs who eagerly stare at him after he's taste tested each and everyone of their pieces of poo that their owners have so generously left on the grass for me to step in.