April 30, 2013

7 things

1. Last Thursday I was watching Hannibal with my parents, well actually I was watching in my hostile room which is next to the kitchen and my dad was watching it from the kitchen while he was cooking himself some shells and cheese. He came into my room in between commercials and one time in particular when a father and daughter were looking at an elk through a scope as the father was coaching the daughter to hunt. She shot the animal and it cut to the next scene with them in their vehicle as the animal was strapped to the hood. My dad very quickly interrupts and says, "Isn't that funny how they just shot an elk and now they have a deer strapped to the hood." I would never had noticed this but of course he picked right up on it. Instead of being caught-up in the story line of the episode (which is what I was trying to do) it quickly turned into a hunting lesson from my dad. He was watching the daughter begin to gut the deer on the table when the father told her to start at the throat and my dad was like "No, no, no, that's all wrong. You start at the asshole and cut that out, cut the penis off and go up from there." He went into much more detail about how to properly gut a deer and this is when I blacked out and began to have flashbacks of when I was younger, sobbing while I was forced to hold the leg of a dead deer that I failed to shoot myself while he properly gutted the deer like a real man does. Needless to say that was the last time I ever went hunting again. I can show you my hunters safety badge if you don't believe this happened. Come to think of it, I've probably already mentioned this already. I have NO new stories. I am now my mother.

2. I'm hoping to have some time to do a couple of simple projects this weekend. I have the itch to create something just for fun. I die a little more inside every week that passes by that I don't.

3. There's nobody to go on a bike ride with and it's the perfect for it right now. I would normally go with my mom but she recently had surgery so that's out of the question and I only see Tyrone from the hours of 10pm - 1am every day. I'm just whining, ignore me.

4. I don't trust those (The) Lumineers creeps, especially the one that never stops smiling. No, I just can't.

5. I spend most of my work day complaining about read receipt confirmations. YOU DON'T NEED THEM ON EVERY DAMN EMAIL - STOP IT!

6. I've had A LOT of coffee today. It feels like a Wednesday and it's only Tuesday. I hate Wednesdays so you can guess how my week is going so far.

7. Not having enough alone time, I know I've bitched about this before but you can consider this the whining version of "7 Things," is really getting to me. Even after seven months of living with my parents I am still not used to coming home to having people there that I have to talk to. That sounds bad and I don't know how to explain this with out sounding like a major asshole and I'm sure my family thinks I'm an asshole for being like this but with out alone time my brain literally does NOT function well. I lock myself away in our hostile room some nights but even then it's just not enough because I can feel them out there. Especially right when I get home from work it is really hard to just dive into a conversation without having a chance to breathe for a few seconds. Shit! I know this is coming off so asshole-ish. It's draining to me and I'm not sure how to pull myself out of myself to get over it. God!! I need therapy just to explain it. Fuck!!


kendahl said...

I agree about the hunting thing. Ick.

People who put read receipts on every email don't have enough to do in their day.

Sorry about the alone time issue. I totally feel where you're coming from. Some people just don't get that you want to be alone without having to hold up a conversation you had no desire to be in in the first place. You can come to my house - we have extra rooms and I won't try to talk to you, I promise.

mom said...

sorry i understand your feeling , i get it , lv u xo lv ma