March 10, 2014

It isn't my intention to be over-critical or snide by comparing the show I saw last weekend to an American Idol audition, but I just can't get the comparison out of my head. If you saw what I saw you would understand. Let me start off by saying I really do like Foreigner - their music. I grew up with this type of music so it resides closely to my heart. Plus, if you have ever been to one of these oldies shows you know how much fun they can be - can of Coors in hand, obviously. I should be more clear - by your third can of Coors and an empty stomach and you should be feeling good. Some might say at this point you would be happy at any concert no matter who was playing but I am not a lightweight so I tend to disagree.

By Thursday of that week I was pretty worn-out from all of the running around, cleaning, bill-paying, etc. that needed to be done in preparation for the weekend. We found out that Tyrone had won an overnight trip to Wendover and tickets to see Foreigner at the Peppermill Concert Hall and it was for Friday. I had already committed to babysitting overnight Saturday to Sunday morning for my brother's kids. That alone was generating enough anxiety within my soul that having another thing on my plate for the weekend was making me a tad bit crazy. I usual crack under this type of self-generated pressure but for some reason I went into get-shit-done mode. My first thought was no way I can't go to that but I was so happy for Tyrone having won it that I just sucked it up and said "OK." I asked to leave early on Friday from work so I could meet Ty by 2:30. His work rented a Le Bus and took about 30 employees so that was pretty cool. The last time I had been on a Le Bus I was on my six-hundredth church youth group activity and definitely did not have a crown and coke in hand like this time. I remember being the bus being a lot bigger (and cleaner) and I'm pretty sure I never used the toilet on one before either, but seeing as how alcohol and bladders don't get along I was forced to use it this time. I would have peed in the aisle if there hadn't been any facilities. I will say that peeing on a Les Bus should be considered as an Olympic event because that shit is tough and thank God I didn't have to go number two. Because, ew and OMG it would've have gotten everywhere! And then as I'm thinking about that little scenario I remember that the sink was broken and there was only a bottle of Purell to clean up with. Now I'm kicking myself for not immediately showering as soon as we got to the casino. 
We were due to come back Saturday by 1pm and we hit that sucker right on the head - otherwise I would have been breathing out of a paper bag due to my schedule having been thrown out of wach. It's a good thing we were on time because 1. I had to be in Eagle Mountain by 2pm and 2. I didn't have a paper bag. 

We were starving when we arrived in Wendover so we immediately hit the seafood buffet which was FREE MOTHERFUCKERS! Tyrone probably inhaled 50 crab legs and I inhaled a mountain sized portion salad which was 1/3 ranch dressing. 

The show started around 9pm which I thought was pretty late for a bunch of old men but then I heard there is only one original band member left and he didn't even show. It was nearly like watching some lounge singers perform Foreigner songs for two hours - BUT damn good covers might I add. This lead singer was a knock-off version of Steven Tyler (scarf and anorexia included) mixed with the dramatics of Celine Dione. I would not have known this guy wasn't the original lead by the sound of his voice. I have Head Games on vinyl and I grew up listening to them via my mother's love of classic rock but I couldn't point out a single member from a lineup. His hand gestures resembled an ambitious American Idol top 12 performer and and a young Jessica Simpson and her exorcist-like hand gestures that she had literally no control over. This guy definitely had more control over what he was doing. You know when people are singing and they stretch out their arm with an open palm and their fingers are spread out like jazz hands? Picture a Glee singer belting out "Don't Stop Believing" and what is the first thing you would picture them doing when they got to the chorus? - THAT!

I could not let it go.

Once incredible part of the show was the drummer. He was a bad-ass and even rocked the double bass pedal like no other. But not to let the 80's love die with the original band members, he poured water on the drums and continued to astound us all during his solo.

There was a decent sax player but not much to talk about there. 

After watching the lead singer walk on the seat arms through the audience a few different times and make old-man sex jokes while hoping to get flashed by some saggy tits we were ready to head back to the casino. I was ready to go to bed and Tyrone wanted to do a little gambling. It was fun and a I would do it again but this time I would actually drink and not plan to babysit the next day. I did not want to be hungover for that. 


kendahl a. said...

Can you please tell Tyrone that it's illegal to be photogenic while he's sleeping? I mean, seriously. I hope he's faking being asleep. :P I'm glad you didn't hyperventilate and die without a paper bag, and I'm glad you were able to go and also babysit without killing the chillens.

Erin Honestly said...

Yes! I'm so glad you wrote about the trip. Like you, I also would never be able to recognize the original (or any) line up of Foreigner. However, I feel like I watched some reality show once that the daughter of the original singer was on?

Great Brandy, now I have to go and Google!