Warped Tour 2015

I think all musical festivals should be held in the Spring or Fall.

I’ll do my best to restrain myself from complaining about the heat too much here. I haven’t been to Warped Tour in about 14 – 15 years. I remember going in 2000/2001 to see MXPX and I can’t even remember who else was there. I can usually remember shows very well but this show didn’t stick with me. I do have the world’s worst memory so that could be it too. I quickly remembered why I hate going to festivals at the fairgrounds; there is no shade and the “grass” is really just dirt. The main stage is always on the big asphalt area (no matter what festival it is) which SUCKS because standing on black in 96 degree heat makes you more miserable.

OK, did I start that off on a positive note or what?

With that old-lady bicker out of the way I will say that I had a blast. I was able to see “most” of the bands I wanted to and I didn’t pass out from exhaustion.

Did I mention that on our way to the show Tyrone asked me if I picked up the tickets (I didn’t)? I thought he was kidding because he’s always giving me shit like that. When we got to the Central Pointe station which is about a little less than halfway from our place and the fairgrounds, we had to get back on the south train to pick up the tickets Tyrone left on the counter. I was so pissed because this meant we were going to be late and I couldn’t see that anyone had posted the lineup yet so I didn’t know when anyone was playing yet. We weren’t too late though. We got there in enough time to walk around, find the lineup and check out the booths.  I found Adam Elmakias tent right away. I really wanted to stop by because he has my dream job but I didn’t want to look like a tool in line with the scene tweens. We listened to Silverstein walking through the booths. They played on the Monster Energy stage which was in the middle of the grounds.

How’s our positivity levels checking out?

yes, I bought the Warped Tour water bottle BEFOREHAND  because I'm a nerd like that

Beartooth view from the back

The first band we wanted to see was Beartooth. I, personally, love these guys. We waited around through I killed the Prom Queen so we could be near the front. It started off really great. The crowd wasn’t too pushy and everyone was moshing around respectively which is my favorite kind of moshing because, well, I’M OLD. I have to say there were more adults at this event than I expected and they weren’t just hanging out the reverse babysitting tent. Three songs in and Caleb invited all of the back stragglers to crowd in closer to the ones (us) having fun in the front and it caused chaos. The moshing because unbearable and everyone was literally on top of each other struggling to breathe through the dust that was being kicked up from the “grass.” Tyrone had a wall between me and one of the pits that was going on but it became so unbearable that he grabbed me and made us get out. He was getting way too hot trying to ward them off and the dust because mud in our lungs. Once we finally got to the back of the crowd he looked at me and said, “You have something on your teeth,” and I wiped a finger across my front chicklets to find a layer of mud nesting over them. It was so nasty. The one good thing about Warped Tour is that you can fill up a water bottle for free and as many times as you need. We needed it more than at least 20 times. After their set was done we headed for the one area that had shade to blow the dirt out of our noses. About this time we were finally hungry so we stood in line at one of two food stands that were open and listened to We Came As Romans while we waited.

At this point my memory of what we did next is hazy once we ate. We people-watched for a while and tried not to laugh too hard at what we saw. We did walk around again because I remember hearing a few other bands. But you know me, I’m not going to sit stand through every fucking band. I was there for 3 – 4 bands and that was it really.

Towards the tale-end of Memphis May Fire we made our way to the Unicorn Stage to get up-close and personal with Lynn from PVRIS. Since I missed these guys in January I wanted to make sure I saw them. I’ve been listening to their album since I first heard of them from Alternative Press Miss Erin Kelly’s Blog which is my main source for music news. They were SO MUCH FUN!! I ignored the blaring asphalt and jumped and sang like an idiot. It was great!

Tyrone was drooling over Mike's drumset

The cherry on top was that PTV played right after PVRIS. They were the best. Of course I think that because I’m in love with all of them. I still have their signed poster hanging on my bedroom ceiling that was put there while Tyrone was in Idaho a lot for work. It’s still there. Tyrone has only made one or two comments about taking it down but he hasn’t. It’s still up, Bish! Yes, I just typed the word “Bish” because I just recently learned what it meant and wanted to be cool by using it. Now that I’ve explained that it’s probably not cool and I’ve veered away from talking about PTV so I’m doing really well here, aren’t I? Anyway, they were really good and I would love to say that I made it through their whole set without getting heat exhaustion but I can’t. During the second to the last song I just freaked out because I couldn’t breathe and plowed my way through all of the sweaty little hobbits. I don’t feel that way often but I honestly thought I was going to die if I didn’t get out of there. At one point, there was just no breathing room and no one was budging anymore. There were a ton of little girls pushing through to get up front, as they do, but then the crowd just decided that they had had enough and wouldn’t even stay flexible for those that needed to even move their arms or fucking take a drink of water. I love that you get to bring in backpacks but in a tight crowd they become annoying as fuck to deal with.

We left after PTV. I wanted to stay and see a few other bands but I just couldn’t and I felt satisfied at that point with what I saw so we headed out to catch the train.

In short, I’m old and should stay home. But I did have fun, I promise.