Weekly Confessional where I totally gross you guys out

You've seen the Shallow Hal movie with Jack Black, right? I'll wait right here for you to do so immediately if you haven't.

Waiting.

Waiting.

You're back? Great. Now that we're all on the same page you remember Ralph? Rosemary's ex? The one with the really bad psoriasis? It was like a floating hallow around his head?

Yep. That's me.

I tried finding a good picture of him but fell short.

My brother and I were not blessed with our mother's skin even though we have different biological fathers (Remember how I told you Steve Perry is my dad?) we have very similar skin conditions. I won't dive into my brother's skin issues on here. Believe me you do NOT want me to dive into that mess. I shudder just thinking about his toenails. God bless him.

Now because I said God bless him that means I can say whatever I want about him right? That's what old maids do and since I'm still childless and in my thirties I can call myself an old maid and start saying ridiculous things and be excused from it if I say "God Bless Him" or "God bless his heart". Did you hear that Ms. So-and-so had an affair with Mr. Who-gives-a-rats-ass in the bathroom of the new Chik Fillet in American Fork? God bless their whorish hearts.

Psoriasis. Eczema. Dermatitis. Fungi. Fungi. Fungi. Allergies. More fungi. Leprosy. Flesh eating zombie virus. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I've been plagued with dandruff from time to time during my life and have had psoriasis on my forhead for awhile now. I keep both under semi-control the best I can. I have things I do for the psoriasis that help a lot. It rarely surfaces now days. I've recently started getting something different, which I assumed at first was psoriasis around the corner of my eyes. At first it was just my left eye and now it's also on my right eye. I tried putting my special remedies on both eyes for awhile but it wouldn't budge. I also got this prescription stuff from my friend that totally worked except after using it for a few weeks found out that I wasn't suppose to be using it for longer than a week. Something about it thinning out my skin too much. I stopped using it. I've done a few searches on the all knowing Google master and found that I think, I think, it is Dermatitis but could also be Eczema. It's so frustrating!

The other day when everything was all a flair! Tyrone looked at me and said (in his most sympathetic voice possible) "When I look at you, you make me want to itch." I tried taking a picture of it but it doesn't show up every well. You would all just think I was overreacting if I posted a picture. You have to see it in PERSON to get the idea. 

Good thing I have a doctor's appointment this week which I made after sweating profusely with anxiety (I hate seeing the doctor). It's just one of the many things I can ask him about.

BIG UP to getting older. Thanks for stopping by, please come back again. My Weekly Confessionals aren't always filled with such disgusting detail.

Pals on Twitter? Let's do this, my handle is @masterflash7

Our Halloween

We took the chill train to sanity-ville!

I got in over my head with those damn caramel apples and cookies and...I finally had to let some shit go. It's hard for me to do that but it feels good when I do. Good thing I had my trusty vintage-y mask with me.

My brother and his wife

Their little monster - to put it lightly. He still has this suspicion of me that comes and goes. He likes me every third time I'm around him but only if I have food AND ONLY IF he feels like taking it from me. I will say this was one of those rare moments where we bonded for a short bit. ah.

Winner, Winner free range chicken dinner

I like that title so much from the last giveaway I thought I would keep it around.

 

Congratulations to Liz! She is our lucky giveaway winner!

I have your email address so I'll be sending your prize tonight!

A BIG thanks to everyone who played, tweeted, blogged, or just snubbed if off! I think we had a better turn out this time around.

My little Gene Simmons

I stole this idea from The Muse Lodge. She made the absolute coolest costume for her dog. I immediately was jealous and had to try it myself. You should check out her post here.

  

I looks like he's into hard-core S&M rather than a band member from KISS. I thought it would be a perfect since his face is naturally painted black and white even though it's not the exact markings.

the back looks like a corset

that hair is ridiculous

poor tortured doggy

Eats - Teensy-Weensy Caramel Apples

Saturday I attempted caramel apples of the miniature kind. I found this easy Paula Dean recipe and thought it would be fun to make smaller ones. Something a little easier to handle and eat; sometimes caramel apples can be awkward as delicious as they are. I saw a few recipes for mini caramel apples but they required a melon baller and I was not about to mellon ball apples. I'm not that crazy.

First of all these took me forever. It could be that I was trying to bake pumpkin chocolate chip cookies at the same time. I had plan to also finish my Halloween costume as well as Frederick's all in one day. I thought I would be able to pull this off with out any problems. ha!

Did I mention I also tried cleaning my house and caught up on a few internet things as well? On Saturdays I like to over commit and come up with huge to-do lists for myself and then freak out when it's six in the afternoon when I've only done two things. This was that day times one hundred. By the time six rolled around I had not even attempted costumes and ran out of caramel. We had to go back to the store. This was not pleasing to me AT ALL. I hate it when that happens.

I took seven apples, cleaned, cut in quarters and stuck these darling bamboo forks in each one before dunking them in the caramel. The caramel was easy using one package of caramels and a little milk melted in the microwave.

After dipping the apples I got all crazy with the fix ins. I was pleased initially (even after a few hours of wanting to scream) but once some more time had passed the caramel began to slip off of the apples. I wasn't quite ready to freak out because I thought as long as we make it to my brother's and sister-in-law's Halloween party before it falls all of the way off it will be okay.

I woke up this morning to naked apples. Anyone know any tricks to getting it to stay on the apples? There's got to be something I missed. Caramel Apple FAIL!!

This pretty pic did not last long.

I made plain ones for my brother on Tyrone's request. He said, you better make one's that are plain for your brother because you know how weird he is about sweets. At first I thought Tyrone didn't know what he was talking about but then when we arrived at the party the first ones my brother reached for were the plain ones. Tyrone and I just started laughing and pointing at him. I guess it's only funny to us.

some pumpkin chocolate chip pecan cookies to go with the evening

If you want to check out more Eats you can do it here!