Okay, so there is this girl that has been walking around the office this week wearing her over-sized shades all day long.
I need to pause before writing anything further.
Give me one sec. (There are so many mean things I could say here)
OK...I'm good now.
There are not a lot of reasons why someone would do that, right? She either has some nasty eye infection or has a black eye? Although it is pretty bright in our office. I find myself going home with sunburns from all of the florescent lights more often than I'd like to. Or she just enjoys the attention. I know that she enjoys the attention and I am having the hardest time not making fun of her. Now before you think I'm an ass for being rude behind some one's back who is probably the victim of domestic violence, let me tell you. She is such a drama queen....okay? If you knew this girl you would talk trash behind her back too. She is just waiting for me to ask her what is up. But since I am stubborn and don't cave easy I refuse to ask and be drawn in by her manipulation.
"Come on! Just show us the black eye! You'd get a lot more sympathy if you did that."
I'd like to assume she has developed some sensitive eye issues from sitting in front of a computer for too many years but of course I don't assume things like that. I think of either the worst or the funniest thing that could happen to a person. Like, her eye may be completely swollen shut from trying out some new experimental mascara that makes your eye lashes grow over night by 2 inches from a jungle in Guatemala that she bought online from an ad she saw on an illegal diet pill site. (that was a mouthful..."that's what she said"....I'm a twelve year old boy.)
Apparently pausing beforehand didn't help me keep my mouth shut.
I have to mention this as well, there is a guy in our office who wears shades all day because he DOES ACTUALLY have a sensitive eye issue. His doctor DID prescribe them for him and was told he had to wear them in the office every day. Now, me being the 12 year old boy that I am put my foot in my mouth early on
"Dude! What the F*&*% is it too bright in here for you? Or are you just too cool not to take them off?"
and he said, "As a matter of fact it IS too bright in here for me. They were prescribed by my doctor. I have what is called (some long medical word that I quickly forgot)"
If I remember correctly, my memory is a little fuzzy from all of the humiliation, I'm pretty sure I tried crawling under my desk to hide my face. We actually laugh about it now - thank God he is not the sensitive type.
Now for those of you who need a band aid to cover the gaping whole you now have from scratching your forehead too hard because you were trying to figure out what I'm talking about or at what point in my life I completely lost my marbles. I'll answer it for you - it was a long damn time ago. Now go take care of that forehead you're getting blood all over the keyboard.
And for those of few religious followers who are asking yourself "I thought she was going on some kind of hiatus from posting as often?" Don't forget I did say it was going to be sporadic. Plus, I am just full blown addicted to this blog and am a huge procrastinator so the posting will still be coming.
Hope you enjoyed sharing hour today on the brandy-son Zen master flash blog!