Thankfully

Everyday this week I'm going to post something that I'm thankful for. I'm not talking about the obvious things like husband, family, breathe of life, blah, blah blah. There are a few personal things I'll leave out too like being STD free, thanking God I didn't pick up any cold sores when I licked the ice cream off of the table at Baskin Robbins or contracting HIV from that hooker I shared a needle with at the Modest Mouse show.

[previous anecdotes mentioned above are based on partial truths and may or may not contain any factual information from my personal life]

I am thankful for inspirational quote refrigerator magnets. When you need spurring before grabbing the Ben & Jerry's in the freezer.

I know what I want for Christmas.

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pictures from thai garden

Finally was able to eat at the best Thai restaurant in Utah County. My mom and I love this place.

It was one of those days where everything you had planned goes out the back door and you just go with whatever comes next. We really needed this.

Love ya Daisy!

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a rambling of sorts

Of all the things I've posted about on here the biggest thing that I've had the most comments, emails and questions about is the miscarriages I've had. People have come up to me and to my family members and have asked me about it often. And even when I haven't written anything about it for awhile I'll get an email or message on Facebook out of the blue. Writing about them on here has opened up a different world for me; one where I learn some of people's darkest secrets (although they shouldn't feel that way). I haven't written about it in depth in quite some time. It's been 14 months since my last miscarriage. 14 months ago when our family welcomed Hagen, my nephew, into our lives yet were morning the loss of another. For the most part I've just kind of buried it all. We haven't been actively trying to get pregnant. We don't use any type of birth control either. Never have. I won't get into that one any further.

After the last miscarriage I thought if I started treating my body better it would give me what I wanted but there was something in me that just wouldn't let myself do it. The way I thought I had to be was exercising every day, eating right every day and having sex every day. As fun as that may be to some it's not my idea of fun (although the sex part is pretty fun). I started researching material on ovulation and what not but never really put it into full gear. A part of me didn't want to, another part thought how ridiculous it would be financially to do it when we didn't even know if we could pay our rent at the end of the month. The financial part has been a big struggle for us as well as many other families out there. I thought it was a bit selfish of me so I had to let it go. I just thought if I dived into the things I actually love doing like, spending time with my husband, playing with the dog, cutting shit out of magazines, blogging, cooking, taking pictures and torturing the neighbor kids that it will happen if it's meant to be.

I recently went to the doctor and he is testing me for various things but one of them is my hormone levels; something that neither of the two gynecologists before ever mentioned. The first doctor pretty much shoved us out of the door and wouldn't even look directly at me and the second doctor, whom I still really like, just told me to wait till I had a third miscarriage before they did any testing. And this testing would have been in regards to fertility, not hormones. This current doctor thinks I may have a low progesterone level which can cause miscarriages. The first twelve weeks is when a baby really needs that and if yours is low then you could have a miscarriage. This makes sense right? It sounds good to me. My mom had been nudging me for a long time before I finally decided to give this guy a try. I have an appointment to discuss my test results on Monday.

I will keep you posted. I said I wouldn't keep this in the dark and I don't plan to.

But what if this doesn't work and you have another miscarriage?

Then we'll go from there and I'll just keep writing about it on here.

I'm too old to have kids anyways right? Can they just go ahead and tie my tubes right now just to be safe?

I'll look into it.

The Zen Master Flash Shopping Guide for the Holidays

My advice for those you who don't like DIY, crafting or cooking. Go to Etsy or Amazon or support a friend who has their own business. Don't buy gift cards.

For a little inspiration if you're lost on what to do for gifts during this [uh-hmmm] joyous time of year, click on the links below. (I'm not getting anything from these people to link back to their sites. They have no idea I did this.)

1. Buy a used book from Amazon. I have found so many for one penny and then I was just left with shipping.

2. Go to Etsy for handmade and vintage items. If you're looking for originality for a hard-to-buy-for type of person you can find loads of stuff here. Admittedly there is also a ton of crap so sometimes you have to do a little digging. Or check out their Storque section for ideas.

Love this, this, this, this, this, and these (I want them for myself).

3. Still need cards? Check this incredibly awesome card.

4. Baby hats are always welcome for those tiny heads especially when it's cold outside.

5. Buy original art work.

6. You can always find something quirky here. I love this site. This in particular is my fav.

7. The best weding gift we received was this book. It's so funny and a perfect one to leave on the coffee table.

8. You can never go wrong with a classic movie.

9. Board games are never wrong, especially this one.

10. If your iPhone, iPod or Droid is getting chilly this time of year you can always purchase a holster (on Sale!!) from The Shop.

What kind of entrepenuer would I be if I didn't plug my own business?

Anyway, if you're planning on trekking out to the sales with all of the crazies next Friday GOOD FREAKING LUCK! I'll be sleeping in.

**If you haven't participated in the Ask Husband Anything post you still have time!**

***AND I am still looking for Guest Posts for December if you're interested check out this post***