Today I tweeted this and couldn't help but expand on it.
My instinct is to choose World Domination but then again I’m not currently PMSing and feeling quite level-headed today. I’m also feeling pretty generous. I can only imagine what I may write if Aunt Flow were camped out on my sofa. This list may have ended up pretty brutal if that were the case.
I would love to think that World Domination would win, but when woman’s hormones are raging some scary things can happen. We lash out at the ones we love and eat strange things in shame. Don’t tell me I’m the only one who does this.
Now, I’m not talking about every woman in the world just every woman on Twitter because we all know that there is a special breed of woman on Twitter. One that is not safe for Facebook.
I had some other thoughts if we (Woman of Twitter) were to all sync up:
Make every man in America cry like a baby. (This might be wishful thinking on my part)
The blue whale might implode.
Chocolate would be trending.
A lot of tweets that read:
"I don’t have a problem, do YOU have a problem?"
"I’m not tired. I wish people would stop asking me if I’m tired."
"Everyone thinks I'm ugly."
"I’m out of ice cream and the only thing with in reaching distance is the cat."
“_________ can suck it”
“_________ can bite me”
"I’d like to thank Eve for being a weak bitch."
"There aren’t enough punching bags in the world."
"My [husband/partner/boyfriend/lover’s] breathing is annoying me."
"If one more person asks me if I'm tired I'm going to strangle kittens."
"Someone tell my mother to stop calling me."
"The dog pissed on the floor and now he is dead."
"I’m getting side-eye from EVERY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD TODAY!
"Out of commission: Too fat to tweet today."
"My [husband/partner/boyfriend/lover] didn't put the toilet seat down and is now no longer breathing. Therefore he is no longer annoying me."