SPIDERS EVERYWHERE!

*Originally written sometime during the end of July*

I had almost forgotten to write about this story until I came in to work this morning to find that a red baby spider had made it's home on my desk which only confirms that all evil things are drawn to this office. We're sitting on top of the Hellmouth for sure.

I had nearly relieved myself from the heebie-jeebies that have haunted me from the spider haven that is our apartment until this minute wickedness popped up and now I can't stop itching my scalp and jumping at every little thing now.

Lately we've been seeing a lot of spiders and earwigs in our apartment it started sometime around late Spring when I would go to pick up clothes off of the floor and an earwig would fall out or when I'm vacuuming and I come in contact with a spider and it's web in the corner of the living room.

The final straw was the night before last when I woke up to Tyrone wigging out in the middle of the night. He woke up yelling at me to turn on the light and hitting himself like a slow kid who's had his baseball stolen. Of course I woke up with attitude because I'm not about anyone waking me up let alone barking orders at me at the same time but clearly he was having issues which didn't take me long to figure out so I turned the cursed light on. He said he felt something fall on his face while he was sleeping. Imma let you pause right there for a minute and think about that. Something fell on his face in his sleep. Fell. On. His. Face. Something. Crawling. Little. Creepy. On. His. Face. In. His. Sleep.

He said he instinctively swatted it off of his face (HIS FACE!!!) and it landed somewhere in our bed where he swears it bit him. IT BIT HIM. IN OUR BED. I'm having a cow just typing this out. I've scratched my scalp and arms 27 times just since starting this.

I immediately jumped out of the bed and started doing what can only be described as a holy roller dance but with much more jerking and screaming if you can imagine that. Unfortunately there were no snakes involved. While I freaked out Tyrone was trying to find the spider in our sheets because he had part of it's body on his hand from swatting it away after it had bit him. He was searching through the sheets and blankets like a mad man except he was really a very mad man who had just been bitten in his sleep by a spider that JUMPED ON HIS FACE WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING.

I jumped to the bathroom in a panic because in the midst of all of the terror I realized I had to pee and when I turned on the light to the bathroom I screamed so loud I gave Tyrone a cardiac embolism.

Keep in mind it's around 1:00 AM.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I nearly blacked out form fear. My body quickly forgot how bad I needed to pee and ran back into the bedroom practically convulsing. There was the BIGGEST SPIDER about 4 - 5 inches in diameter (I am not exaggerating) just hanging out on the wall above the toilet. I. Can't. Even. HUGE!!!! Tyrone could not have killed that thing faster. I don't remember how he killed it because I was too busy losing my shit. I can't even imagine having to kill it myself there was no GAWDAYYMMM way I could have even brought myself to do it. All I can think of is hearing it's body pop and crunch as I pushed down on it with a shoe or something. I would have rather just shot the damn thing with an oozie than risk getting close enough for it to jump on my face and start eating my nose right off. Because that IS EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

After my turrets began to subside I needed to change my tee shirt and when I opened my pajama drawer there was a little spider in there asserting it's territory on my Paul Frank boxers. MUTHAFOGGER! My nerves were shot at this point and I just wanted to drop to the floor but didn't out of fear there would be more spiders on the floor. After some thought about how I was going to sleep standing up the rest of the night in the hallway because that was the only safe way I think we were ready to crawl back in bed. I mean, you can't ever be ready to get back in bed after an episode like this but I knew we had to do it. I pretty much laid there with my eyes wide open the rest of the night.

Pure hell.

Since then it hasn't been too bad because Tyrone borrowed some spider spray from a friend and sprayed down our bedroom with it. I've seen less large spiders and much less earwigs. It's been really nice but last night I was sitting on the floor flipping through the September catalogs when a huge spider crawled right next to me. I'm proud to say my instincts slapped the shit out of that thing with all of the gusto I could muster. I didn't even let Fred get it and we usually let him kill things like this when they're on the floor. He's a good little hunting dog.

Happy Bday MJ!

love u

still here

still here just really busy

wanted to check in

started packing

shop is busy

work is as usual

working on new things

blah bliddy blah

Fridays with Frederick

Someone's been hounding me to post something about him since it's been a very long time since I did.

This face kills me but he won't be pouting for long once we move back to American Fork and in with my parents. If you missed that announcement you can watch the video here. He'll be able to play with Bo-bo all day and get to run around in their yard anytime instead of being cooped up in an apartment all day. He'll be all smiles in no time. And yes he DOES smile.

Junk Hunt

Some goodies for the shop I found recently.

for the ladies some lovely 70's dresses and incredible leather purses

(the purse on the left has a mirror inside that pulls out)

and some for the dudes

Retro Album with a Modern Take

 I found another incredible old photo album like this one that I turned into a journal and decided to use it to store personal photos in. I know that's not a ground breaking idea in fact it's downright obvious that I would put pictures in a [gasp] photo album. What I did differently was take the plastic covers off of all of the pages and instead of taking all of the pages out and replacing them with something else I decided to keep the old ones because they were in good shape and just use washi tape to keep the photos in place. Again, not a genius idea but I love how it turned out and I am still adding photos to it hear and there. I ordered a couple of Snapstagram orders that I'm thrilled with how they turned out. Here's a couple of the pages.

another unfortunate tweet where I misspell a word and don't catch it in time

via my phone

I dyed my hair recently back to black but I kind of miss the purple ends.

Transition (and a slobbery mess)

a little video announcement where I babble on way too much

if you bare to watch the whole thing then you're a trooper (it's long)

[video removed - post to come later]

What I didn't mention that I wanted to point out is that we've decided to make something happen for ourselves instead of waiting for something to just fall into our laps and if all goes as planned then we can reach our goals within a few short months and try and get ahead - fingers crossed.

I'd rather hang out in the parking lot with the "cool" kids and smoke

I won't lie I am still not thrilled about my upcoming 15 year HS reunion. It's on Saturday and I'm already having a mini panic attack over it. I'm also not going to pretend that there is anyone I'm looking forward to seeing. I see who I want to see from school already and any other friends I had in HS didn't go to my school so I just don't care that much to be honest.

I told you that my BFF Jenni is hosting the shindig and she wants me to help greet people at the door. Um, no. No freaking way. Besides the fact that this will be a large group of people consisting mostly of strangers (never my ideal situation) that I'm going to have to be forced to talked to it's people I especially am not thrilled about seeing.  She knows I'm not a people person so I'm really loving her with all of my heart right now if you can imagine. She is lucky I love her for realz. She is one of the only other girls I've ever even wanted to call a sister. I can't say I'm going to be all kittens and puppies Saturday but I will be there to help and I will have fun decorating because I like that shit. I'm sure my standard sentence for the night will be "And who are you again?"

I am looking forward to some stellar material to write about because so far it's been bland. Cross your fingers!

Reunion pt. 1
Reunion pt. 2

It's not you it's me

I cut all of my friendship bracelets off. I heard someone say that if you made all of your own friendship bracelets that you were a sad and pathetic person and since I did IN FACT make all of mine...well....yep.

[major eye rolling and a small amount of self-pity later]

Actually, I cut them off because they were starting to stink. I haven't taken most of them off in a very long time and the other night in bed I could smell something funny and noticed it was my wrist laying next to my face. Needless to say it was time for them to go plus I wanted a fresh new wrist for Fall or whatever.

Mason Jar Planter

Last Spring I made-over our balcony and planted a few things and I'm happy to report that one of them is still alive. The rest have passed on but I'm not crying over it. I'm just happy I still have one plant that isn't dead and that I've kept it alive for more than a year. It has worked out perfectly that it hates to be watered.

So naturally I think I'm an expert now and decided to plant another one. I painted the bottom inside of an open mouth mason jar, threw a bunch of rocks in the bottom of it (because it worked before) and am now watching it ever so intently.

To be honest it's not drinking any water almost at all so I'm scared. I don't think it's getting enough oxygen so I stuck a straw it in (no clue if this trick will work but some green thumb internet extraordinaire told me to do it) so we'll freaking see.

And there's the avacodo seed that I planted because I copied my cousin (Kendahl - the best stepmom in the world) who's plant/tree is a monster now. Let me tell you that if the root on this seed hadn't started growing as fast as it did I probably wouldn't have had the patience to wait the 1-2 months (according to the research I did) for it to grow. I started growing within a week and a half and since then Tyrone and I have been a bit excited to see it grow hence we've been consistent about changing the water in it and making sure it doesn't get moldy. The pic shown below is from a few weeks ago and the root is now touching the bottom of the jar and is sprouting off. There is also some little green growth on the inside of the seed that I can see from where it has cracked. I need to plant it now according to all of the research I've done but I'm scared to do it because of my murderous past.

This guy sits on the outside of our window and changes every now and then with a different slimy body and shell. Yes, I'm aware that it's probably a new snail. It looks like he ends up drying up and then eventually getting knocked off by the wind. The funny thing is that Fred will get a wind of him when he's lower on the window and tries licking at him and scratching at him. He's such a cute little critter hunter.

Just listed

For the men in our lives

DIY Slouchy Clutch

I've been eyeing those slouchy/paper bag clutches you see all over right now and I had some leftover black pleather fabric so I decided to make my own. I used a very simple rectangle patten and added a snap for the top closure.

Holds the essentials.

It feels good to be blogging regularly. I hope it sticks.

Back to School Sale (expired)

For the best blog buddies a mediocre blogger could have.

I want to show my gratitude to my readers with a discount code to The Shop

20% off with the code SCHOOLRULES

I recently added some more items check them out!

I even added another Samsonite shoulder bag. These are one of my top selling items. Every time I put one in the shop it sells quickly. This one is practically brand new. No wear and tear at all!

(how was that sales pitch?)