Buffy Complex

You know how they tell women not to park next to big vans in parking lots or parking garages? Like when they give you a whole list of cautionary things to do to keep yourself safe when you're alone. I always snicker at them and kind of shrug them off when I'm reading them but I always remember them. I even do some of them. For instance, I always, always lock the doors when I get in the car even if Tyrone is with me. You never know when some random stranger is going to try and takeover your car when you're stopped at a street sign. Am I wrong?

 

 

I don't however tend to look under my car before I get in it every time or keep my arms and hand free; my hands are usually always full. I hear that's a bad thing.

 

 

This morning I pulled up next to a light and a large 15 passenger van pulled up next to my driver's side. I immediately thought about what they say and then I noticed the sliding door open to the van and my heart sank. It even stopped for about 7.3 seconds. The door opened really fast, a guy popped his head out then shut the door quickly. The light didn't turn green for another 4.2 seconds, but when it did I hit the gas. But the whole time I was sitting there, in my 11.5 seconds of pure horror, I just sat there. Maybe it was the rational person inside of me that kept me from running the light and driving over the top of women and children and the dude on the red scooter in front of me.

 

 

Usually when it's dark or if I've stayed late at work and the parking garage is nearly empty I am always on alert. I'm always thinking about what I can do to physically cause someone pain if they try to attack me. Next to them having a gun I think I could put up a good fight. I'll go straight Buffy on their asses and then run the other way. Although, two weeks ago I was watching Private Practice, and what happened to that one tough doctor on that show really scared the shit out of me. I hadn't seen the show in a long time and rarely ever watch it but this week Tyrone and I were glued to it. They did a good job, I think, of portraying the abuse, guilt, shame, and pain she was in. I know it's not reality but it could easily happen to anyone. If you didn't see it she was brutally beaten and raped in her office at work. I feel for any woman in real life that has had a similar experience. I hope and pray that I can continue to stay safe and am totally crossing my fingers even as I type in order not to jinx myself for bringing it up.