November 2, 2010

He slept with my face in his face

I got a call from Tyrone after work yesterday telling me he has carbon monoxide poisoning. It happened at work. I paused for a bit before answering. I was in a horrible mood after work and was trying to muster up any sort of sensitivity or sympathy. I listened to him tell me the story of what happened and asked him what he was feeling like now. He said he was still nauseous and had a really bad headache but that he was fine and was going to go home and take a bath.

I asked him what the side effects of this are and he said DEATH.

"Um…so you're dying?"



I hung up the phone.

I was sitting in a parking lot and thought I should probably Google this to see what we were up against.

The first thing I saw was "AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE SILENT KILLER", "KILLS ___ NUMBER OF AMERICANS A YEAR!!!" And that there was no home remedies to help cure it and that you HAVE to go to the hospital immediately if you think you have it. Apparently most people who die from it never get treatment because they didn't even know they had it. Whu??

I'm thinking, well my husband is certain he has it and is not going to the ER.

This prompted me to call him back and tell him I think we should take him to the ER just to be tested and to let them put him on oxygen.

He said no.


"Okay, fine, then I am going to the thrift store and I'll be home later. I hope you're still alive by the time I'm done rummaging through other people's crap."

I can be just as stubborn. It's like cat nails snagging polyester curtains or something to do with a chalk board and Lee Press On Nails for me to draw up sympathy when others are hurt.

I called him on my way home (from the guilt) and asked him if he was still alive. He answered the phone. I took that as a yes.

When we got home I was able to talk him into going on a walk to breathe in our semi-fresh air in the valley. If he wasn't going to go to the ER he could at least try to stay alive for one more night.

I'm not as heartless as you may think. I got up during the night a few different times to check his breathing. That was fun. I was tempted to mess with him or start yanking on his nose hairs. I got really close to him a few times and just stared at him because I couldn't hear him breathing. At one point I put my finger near his nose to feel if he was still breathing.

I also checked Frederick's breathing just to be safe. He likes to burry himself in the blankets and stay under them all night. It makes me nervous. I always think he's going to suffocate. I would not be able to handle waking up to that shit especially on top of a dead husband.

All three of us woke up this morning. I was relieved.

I'm hoping he's still live right now. I haven't heard from him yet today while I've been at work…

Uh…I'll be back I need to go make a call.


ma said...

sorry for not being there for you when you called , i got it all mixed up, i appologise , xoxox lv mom

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