Not-so-random co-worker: So, I just got done totally yelling at myself. I am such an idiot.
Not-so-random co-worker: [whispering] He's only 17, oh my God!
Me: Oh really? That's crazy! [thinking: What the holy hell is this dude taking about? Who is only17? Your lover? Your son? The dude working at McDonalds who served you your number four breakfast combo meal? The underage boy you met in that illegal chat room?]
Not-so-random co-worker: I mean I can't blame him he's only 17. He finally left and I just had to shake it off because what am I suppose to do, right?
Me: [at this point my face is completely glossed over and all I can think about is what conversation did I miss that lead to him coming up to my desk and start blurting this out like we're girlfriends and I am apparently suppose to know what he's talking about?]
Me: Right! Oh my gosh! I can't believe that. That is crazy! [BTW, that last sentence is my standard go-to line when I'm trying to act interested and pretend that I've been following along the whole time]
Okay, so let's talk about this: What? The? Hell? I admit there are times (most of the time) that I nod and smile along to most of the personal conversations that transpire at work and even though I might only be listening to 15% of what they're saying I still get some sort of idea of what the gist of it is about. But this one in particular has thrown me for a loop. I'm pretty sure I have never even had a personal conversation with this human being ever. I know nothing about them like if they are married, dating, how many children they have, or if they like to watch Glee on Tuesday nights in there pajamas while they sing along to every song into the microphone/remote…oh wait that's me.
You can imagine the thoughts that ran through my mind. For instance, am I going completely mad? Have I lost every bit of my memory? Or have I actually become that person? Do I know this human being outside of work? Are they famous and just expect me to know the details of their personal life from following TMZ? Do I need to report this person to the authorities for mingling with a minor?
I think I'll just keep nodding and smiling.