August 2, 2010

This morning

Not a single soul noticed the blood dripping down my cheek from the fork that was lodged in my temple this morning. I guess I should expect that coming from cubicle zombies who have no souls. Oh, speaking of zombies I had dream about them this morning that started around five this morning and ended around six. I know this because I stayed awake checking the damn clock on my phone every hour on the hour. The Sunday night anxiety really did a number on me. How F*&# ed up is it that I had so much anxiety about going back to work that I dreamt about zombies?
I remember clearly asking the Ryan Phillipe look-a-like who was leading our eclectic group if I could use the bathroom. He looked at me like I had been bitten by one of the zombies as if I had asked him to give me his left kidney to snack on. I remember just wanting to piss really, really bad. And I thought if this dude doesn't let me piss then I'm turning him over to the blood thirsty ones who are overtaking the planet first chance I get.
You can't make this shit up. Or maybe you can, it's like I pulled this story straight out of a horror movie that had booked the typical mixed group which included the hot leader of the pack, the dumb blonde crying in the corner, the token black guy, the dumb jock and the smart, sarcastic brunette (that's me). Don't ask me why I used Ryan Phillipe as an example of the hot leader of the group because I by no means think he is hot. He just seems like it would be perfect to cast him as the lead in this typical movie....or dream...? I'm losing focus here. The dude in my dream wasn't actually Ryan Phillipe. He did however manage to let me take a piss FINALLY. I didn't know zombies were attracted to urine?
About the fork? Right. Some where in between the ending of my dream and me waking up to my alarm I jammed it into my temple. It was the only thing that I could do to keep the thoughts away. The thoughts? You definitely don't want to know about those.
Doesn't matter really since no one has noticed and I haven't yet gone ape shit on some not-so-innocent by stander yet. I will think about taking the fork out later, maybe before the commute home. Yes, that will be perfect. I'll let the thoughts take over at that point.


The Bipolar Diva said...

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Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

Dude, you need to find a new job. But be careful about taking the forks out in the future, sometimes that will cause you to bleed out, which is bad.

brandy-son Zen master flash said...

Always glad to have new readers, thank you and right back at ya!

The fork is still in...for now.