July 5, 2011

Weekly Confessional

Less than two weeks after that damn progesterone shot I was about to check myself into a mental clinic. I was going bonkers and to make things worse I had gained about 8 pounds ALL IN MY GUT. Not cool to say the least. I stepped on the scale (such a mistake) and began a dark downward spiral that resulted in me calling my MOMMY and bawling my eyes out. If there ever were a time that every razor blade in the house needed to be locked up this was it. I felt like a grapefruit had made a home in my stomach. I am not the healthiest or skinniest person out there and I have been up front about my weight gain on this blog for awhile now but this was insane to have go up in weight that quickly. I have been steady for quite a while now and my eating habits and all that had not changed drastically so I was freaking out at what it could have been. It finally hit me that it was probably that damn shot so I did a little research and found that it was common. Still not very comforting but at least I had stopped writing that suicide note that I had started. (that was a joke mom)
Since it's been about another week I am feeling less crazy, which is nice. This holiday weekend was exactly what I needed. I have a new progesterone pill to start taking so I'm hoping it helps. If anything I would just like my hormones to be balanced. I have to be clear that I am not just doing all of this to get pregnant. Yes, that is something that I want but I am willing to wait until my body is ready. I don't want to just have a baby NO MATTER WHAT. As much as I want one, I don't want one that way. I want one when my body is ready and when it is meant to happen. I love my doctor he is really good and specializes in this sort of thing so I trust him which is weird for me to feel that way about a doctor. I've had some interesting experiences with girlie docs of which I'll have to write about some day.
This week I plan on posting about the weekend - IT WAS A BLAST!! And I was able to wrangle Tyrone into helping me take new masthead pics for das blog and I have a fun week of posts planned for next week. I hope you stay with me.
I want to end this by thanking my mom (she is a fucking rock) and Tyrone for not leaving me in my crazy state.


Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

Oh, I'm sorry you're going through all this. I wish there was something I could do. :( Hopefully things start to balance out!

mommy said...

mommy loves her bubba

Oh Honestly Erin said...

I am so glad you got to have a great weekend after going through all those emotions. Girl, I understand what it's like to lose control---it is scary as shit. You're so lucky you have a mom and a great husband to lean on.

Here's to taking control! <3