December 20, 2010

Cohort Post by lil miss butterbean

If this doesn't make you laugh then I'm not sure we can be friends. Lil miss butterbean is a fairly new blog friend and am very glad we met. I follow her on twitter and she makes me laugh religiously. You should follow her too and go check out her blog - become one of the her swarm, I have!



****************************************************************

i honestly have no idea what the hell i'm doing guest posting over here. i'm not a photographer, nor am i a do-it-yourselfer, so i'm not sure how i fit in here. but don't throw eggs at me just yet. i love this blog, and i am so honored to be guest posting here, and i've been so nervous about it! i've spent the last few weeks trying to decide what to write about, and couldn't come up with one single clever idea.

and then? it hit me. i have yet to send my letter to santa, and seeing as how brandy has a thing for creepy santas, you know he frequents her blog to check out the latest ones she's added to her collection. so why not make my guest post my letter to santa and kill to birds with one stone? but, don't really kill any birds, animal cruelty is no joke.

anyvajazzle, on to my letter to santa.


dear santa, 

i have been really good this year. i've only called the hubs an asshat a total of 27 times. that's 52 less than last year. it's all about progress. i've also improved in the area of road rage. instead of jumping out at traffic lights ready to whip some ass, i just reach out the window and flip people off. i'd say i'm on the right track, wouldn't you?

so, on to what i would like for christmas this year. 

1. shoes, shoes, shoes, and more shoes

seriously santa, a girl can never have enough shoes. or, in my case, boots. you can either bring me a couple or pairs or a gift card. either choice is good.

2. jewelry

since you watch me year 'round to see if i'm being good (you dirty old perv, you!) you know that i'm an addict and my drug of choice is pretty and shiny. earrings, bracelets, big ol' rings, all of it's good. i'm not really all that picky.

3. sunglasses

i cannot live without my sunglasses. they hide the lines that suddenly showed up on my 25th birthday and the luggage that i've been carrying around under my eyes since my daughter was born. anything stylish will do, although i prefer chanel. just an fyi. 

4. hot men

listen, there's no need to wrap these if you don't want to. just position them around my tree topless and it'll be even better than tearing wrapping paper off of their rock hard abs. 

well santa, that's about it. i know my list was a little extravagant last year, so i really simplified this year. i thought about asking for a new range rover, but i thought that would probably be pushing it. although if it isn't? just go on and leave it in the driveway.

i'll be sure and leave a pint of beer and some homemade red velvet cookies out. oh, and i'll have that stripper that you like so well waiting on you. what's her name? candy cane? yeah, i think that's right.

oh, and santa? thanks for the early gift of ryan reynolds and scarlett johansson splitting up. and just a head's up, i want him for christmas next year.

love,




2 comments:

Melissa (A Gracious Calm) said...

Best letter to Santa ever. Seriously.

brandy-sons ma said...

hahahaaha laughing my guts out , and number 4 is awesome funny funny , happy hohoho to you