His Majesty's Birthday

His Majesty

Sunday was His Majesty's birthday. Now before I get any hate mail from this post, know that it is purely out of love that I make light of this. And if you knew my family you would laugh at this too.

Disclaimer over.

Let’s begin with the struggle between me and His Majesty. At some point in our relationship he has grown to hate the sight of my face. But today I was bound and determined to make this little shit love me. I didn’t give a fuck if it was his birthday. How can he not like me? Does he not know how cool I can be? I think I liked him better when he didn’t understand fully what was going on around him. Back then he actually smiled at me instead of screaming in horror every time I smiled or pulled a face at him. With this added awareness of the things and people around him he has grown to be quite a grandma’s boy. And I’m not referring to that one stupid pock smoking video game playing movie that totally SUCKED but every guy I know LOVES.

Glow-in-the-dark freaking cupcakes!

I am however becoming content with waiting until he is a tween or even a teenager. And the day comes when grandma is uncool and when he starts to think his parents are ruining his life. That is where his coolest Auntie Bubba will step in and save the day and let him crash on her couch any time he wants. Although, I’m sure he’ll be past calling me Auntie Bubba and straight to something more mature in his eyes.

Even as I type this (I'm at my parents house right now) he is sitting next to my mom near me and every time I look over at him he pretends he wasn't having fun and gives the scowl from hell.

His Majesty's Royal Parents

Things I got to share with my little brother (his dad) when I was 16 or so and he was only nine or ten at the time are things I can’t wait to share with Hagen. Like music mostly, car rides and the movies his parent’s won’t allow him to see, but we’ll tell them we watched The Incredibles or whatever is family friendly at that time. I wonder what that will be. Hmm? It’s interesting to think of things like that in the future and what kind of individual he will grow up to be like. If he’s anything like his dad he’s going to be cracking me up all of the way to my grave. I can’t wait! Now, just so that I am careful I don’t want to project on him how I think he should become. I need to be careful at following my own advice from yesterday. We will love him no matter what and be disappointed not. (a quote my mom always says)

This was after his dad passed him to me right when he fell asleep as to avoid direct eye contact. He had no idea who was holding him until he woke up. Boy!! Was that fun when he woke up and saw my face. No amount of jiggling, funny faces, rouse, binkies or bottles could fool him.

This birthday was a major deal to our family; the first birthday of the first grandchild. He pretty much got spoiled rotten. There were lot of relatives from both sides of his family. I'll spare you the boring family details. It was funny watching his face as his mom and grandma helped him open the gifts and seeing which ones caught his attention and which ones did not. It’s no surprise that we were the ones that got him the drum set (it’s an interesting story that I would love to share but am afraid I shouldn’t tell on here). And I shouldn’t be surprised that he loved it. What little boy doesn’t like to bang on things that make loud noises? I hope he can enjoy it for a long time to come. He still has a lot of room to actually grow into it but for now he can tip it over and bang on the bass drum. It’s a real drum set that included a bass peddle, real drumsticks and can even be tuned. Tyrone spent some time tuning it after we got it and I laughed because I thought “that’s not going to last very long”. Being the drummer that he is he wanted to make sure it was just right. This drum set sat in our living room for about a month and was almost thrown out a time or two by me when Tyrone wouldn’t stop playing with it. It didn’t help either that every time I told him to stop he just played it louder and LOUDER. We live on the bottom floor of a three story apartment with THIN AS HELL walls. As much as I normally would be the one to provoke such behavior we can’t afford to get kicked out right now. Our rent is cheap. It was fun for Tyrone until he was left pulling the sticks out of his colon for the fifteenth time. We won’t let Hagen’s mom know about that part. I thoroughly sanitized before wrapping them up. I promise.

Before he was into it too deep.

Once he finally realized he was being allowed to eat sugar and throw it as he pleased he became one happy little dude

Frederick was there to lick up any discarded pieces

The frolicking in his own feces part cake devouring he got to do all by himself was the main event indeed. Everyone oooing and aaahing at his royal self. I took about 500 pics most of which turned out exactly the same but I still had a hard time sorting through and deleting any of them, “But his face looks just a little different in this one.” I kept saying to myself.

Tell me that doesn't look like crap.

I have to take a minutes and brag about him he knows how to ask for more in sign language and it is the cutest thing ever. He was doing the whole time through out his party! He almost knows how to sign thank you too.

He got a nice little bath in his pool.

At the end of the party as my grandma was leaving she asked me to grab her ass. I respectfully declined. (I'm still recovering from the trauma this caused me) She was bragging about how rock hard it was getting from her isometrics she's been doing since her surgery. I laughed all night about this. It was good to see her back to her spunky self.

We even had a few moments to devour some Smurfs we found running havoc in the neighborhood. Those little devils are tasty. Funny sidenote, my mom wouldn’t let me watch the Smurfs when I was little because Gargamel did magic and magic was of the devil.

There are no words.

The unicorn hair do via The Pickle

I mixed up the wardrobe too. Tyrone was not a fan but I liked it and loved that it was comfortable. You can't tell but I'm wearing gray leggings.

On our way home we watched as the West Mountains burned with God’s fury. Okay, not really but it was a pretty gnarly site to watch on the drive home. I think the fire is now 25% contained or at least it was yesterday. Out of the 1600+ evacuations only four houses were burned to the ground. And boy were they burned to the freaking ground. I feel so bad for those families. So, it was called the Machine Gun fire because the Utah National Guard was messing around on their little playground with their real machine gun toys when they weren’t supposed to be and a spark from one of the guns started the whole thing. I could be wrong but I think they said it burned over 3500 acres. They have since made a public apology.


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